For the avoidance of doubt... Yes... I definitely have an opinion... |
Prompt: Write about a day you would like to forget. *** There are only two days that I'd rather forget. Both of which are traumatic for very different reasons. All the others I either have forgotten already or don't affect me anymore. The one I'd write about is the day I lost my dad. It's the most palatable out of the two. It's a day I wish didn't exist rather than one I want to forget - which I think are two different things. I only remember the moment I received the phone call. I can't recall what I was doing beforehand, and I can't really remember what I did after it. I just remember the phone call. I remember standing by the window. My sister being on the other end telling me "It's Dad. He's gone!", "Gone where?", "He's dead." Apparently, I cried out. I don't recall that. But I must have because my mum heard me took the phone off my sister to try and calm me down. My mother-in-law who was visiting us ran upstairs to get my husband. I can't even recall if I was holding my four-week-old daughter... I remember saying "Oh my god, he never got to meet Theia." I think my mother said, "Just hold Theia and give her cuddles." between tears. But everything else is hazy. I think I went into some type of autopilot. I didn't emotionally shutdown - I just got stuck in a denial, sobbing, staring into space loop... Grief is strange - I can't really remember much about the day, but the feelings. They hit immediately... even now. Still as strong and potent as ever. That feeling of loss. True loss. The type that never goes away. But strangely I don't want to forget the feeling either. I like the pain of it, because it means he meant something to me. That he was and is important. I just wish I never had to experience it. |