It's a Mousey kind of Life

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The past few days have been hell.

D has decided to settle on me as the cause to all his ills. It has gone from "i have loose lips and CMH blew it all out of proportion" to "I purposely tried to sabotage him and T". Either choice is why APS showed up at the house last week. Now every time I head out to a CMH appointment I get the stern look, shaking finger, 'you better watch what you are saying and not talk about anything going on in the house".

I've had two panic attacks this week and just wish I could cry it out; but that release valve has been broken. Instead I hide in sleep as much as I can.

My walker showed up today. It is one of those no frills silver ones. I had one like it before and flipped it twice. What I need is my blue one with the seat that D hid somewhere.

I have a combination hope/dread that I am going to be evicted.

Tomorrow I am going to see my psychiatrist. I am about an inch away of saying "fudge it all" and closing my case. I am going to flat out ask her for an anxiety med that is going to work. IF she refuses I don't know what I'll do.

I've got to sync my wall calendar with my phone calendar. I made appointments for Neurology and Eye Doctor. I have to stop putting my life on hold just because of the cancer and going through Chemo.

I've been wanting to write but I don't want to work on the things I already have started. That leaves very little to do. I'll figure something out.