Angel Feathers

My Faith Journey

I have a long way to go—
Mostly uphill.
I'm not sure I can wrap my head around God—
Is that a blasphemous idiom
Speaking to Him seems difficult…
What about other forms of spiritual experience
I exclude almost automatically?
Sometimes I appreciate Buddhism;
I should look into it further
because it seems rather similar to nihilism.
Nihilism is a thing with me lately.
I wonder what the point of life is,
Letting myself slide downhill
Rather than wasting energy on the climb to higher ground—
Exhausted before I've begun.
I pray for wisdom, discernment, love,
Faith seems all too magical:
a dream, a scam, a trap, a tool
Used by others for manipulation and control.
Philosophically speaking, God is highly likely to exist,
The primary cause and source of all else.
Seeking His Face is the puzzling part.
How do I filter out the noise, focus on the Voice?
Peace, stillness, a moment to breathe, gratitude,
All will help me find what I'm looking for.
The journey begins with a small step,
A tiptoeing mustard seed of faith,
Sprouting eventually into a deeply rooted, thriving tree of life.

28 lines, 191 words.
Written for "Share Your Faith" 
May Prompt:
The Search
What aspect of your faith journey are you currently exploring or seeking clarity on?

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