The Absence of Wavelength

Don’t Take My Advice — Listen To Yourself

Morning of reviewing provoked mantra, and long. Then, supporting evidence…why?

We yearn for proof of life until we look inside and realize the only truth lay hidden inside ourselves. (Could quit there) What lies without doesn’t seek that gold, but gets you to give it away without reward. (Cult/slave) Look inside again. Truth never leaves but replenishes from all kindness offered. (Only you can assign value and how it lifts you) No one can tarnish your gold, lest they tarnish what they take. Then, you will see what’s worthless. (Moral for our story, or universal truth?)


I gave it all away when I was young. I didn’t have to be told you’ll be compensated in return (with kindness, friendship, love). But, somehow a deficit grew. I didn’t do any self-accounting. My early friends betrayed me. I cried from confusion when mentally and physically assaulted (in my case, undiagnosed). Ward Mathers wasn’t around for life lessons (before my time), but did draw my own conclusions, unfortunately causing recluse.

Guarding my gold? There was nothing there to give without trust.

Wild animals scurry off when humans appear, why shouldn't I? Enough time, with more accountability, I grew to understand roles in life I needed to play. It delivered kindness my way and understood I had invested too much in people too hard to please. This knowledge did not abate pain, but the deficit seemed to stop compiling. I tried to refill, thinking punishing anything that causes a deficit (retaliation). I didn’t know I was doing it. No justification for ignorance, as the kind ones became timid creatures, though I had nothing but love for them. Seeing the wild-eyed side of me was enough. I can understand. I was there. I had kindness once and it was stolen.

Did I cut myself off from the world, or did it just cut me? Who are these agents of evil who turn tables with such disregard, after creating monster-like feelings in me (I identified with Hulk, The Frankenstonian, Stitch, with misplaced feelings). Deficit began to grow again. Acts of retaliation only made it worse. And I learned from the Bible, it is not man’s place to judge the whole of me. Oddly, despite sequestering, I’d forget anger until outward reminders tempted.

That’s when I became witness. I got smart. It’s refilled me, plus more than I lost, to know every game of life lost has been fixed. Manipulation, a dehumanizing game by others.

Didn’t need anyone to fight on my behalf. It became so simple a child could understand these playground taunts. I have provoked bitter people by just excelling at succeeding? Threat?? People who couldn’t diminish me grew into an underground network of gossiping, embellishing liars. This is not new territory. The bigger and uglier it got, the less I dealt with it.

But, I do own one last role as patient educator — one of many reasons to write.

Simply, get them to look in that mirror they avoid. Some won’t get a clue. Leave them. They need to save themselves. It’s others on the periphery playing with dark magic that can be saved before hurting themselves, further taking it out on others.

It doesn’t matter who you affiliate with to know your own worth. Possibly incentivized or validated by alliance, you have no soul credits to claim as your own. Punishing with anger creates more to fill that hole. Giving love and kindness is a great place to start if you’re bankrupt. But, to fully feel it’s worth, it’s like mom says ‘say it like you mean it’. Not easy if your not there yet.

You can apologize. That can be messy when ears aren’t ready to receive, difficult to absolve. It won’t serve a tender ego if you haven’t put in the work, and could further be targeted. You can say, “I feel unsafe.” Fewer today can disregard, as inclusion reigns to day for the disenfranchised. Don’t be surprised if your license to be free of purgatory is revoked by those claiming authority, Damion. Rejection means you can now accept yourself. Forgive yourself, if you’re ready for a path of righteousness that accepts.

It doesn’t mean (big) ego to love your own worth, especially if your spirit connection is growing, including feeling nearer to God. You can dap yourself up in reflection of the positive change you know you’ve influenced. Coming with any falseness or guise, prepared to take it all back, means you’re not ready just yet. Have faith you’ll get there.

The world isn’t advertising it, but it needs more love. Know it’s not likely to give it back. Maybe, a numbers game. If baseball, hit .300, you’re doing great. If basketball and shot 50%, you’re on your way. But, if you can do it knowing you can inspire change, your deficit should wash away. Vigilance will come easily. Phonies out themselves. Truth will just warm you over.

The only tears you will likely get…tears of joy. Let it wash over. And, don’t listen to me or any other before listening to yourself.

Peace be with you.

5.8.25

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