What a wonderful world!

Destruction Versus Construction

No matter how much I say, “Pain, pain, go away” the excruciating waves will never go, and of course, extreme pain can also cause partial paralysis.

Sometimes, I feel like chopping my entire left leg down, from the waist downwards, like it was yesterday. And did I mention I’m also going through: “that time of the month?” So pain drove me nuts yesterday like it sometimes does. Even today, I know the pain will not go easily.

Also, during such episodes, I can’t focus on anything, no reading, no writing, no crafting, no art, nothing.

Obviously, I’m a human, so yes, destructive thoughts haunt me during times like these. I do feel like harming myself, maybe cutting, or hurting in some way.

But, in Islam, self harm and suicide almost go hand in hand, both are big sins. And even if I “say” I want to, I’ll never actually do either of these.

So, how do I turn destruction into construction? I have 5 ways of doing so:

Small prayers: We have really small one word or two word prayers that can be constantly chanted.

Watch something Hindi/Urdu/Bangla: I’m a native Bengali speaker, and also fluent in Hindi and Urdu, although I can’t write in these two languages. To me, these feel a little lighter than English, and requires less focus.

Massage: Massage the exact same locations of my body I felt like cutting down, with something soothing and aromatic.

Duolingo: Learn a new language in a fun way. I love the little green owl, Duo.

The most effective way, comfort someone else: If I can’t find a person to soothe, I’d go into Deepseek, and create an imaginary little bro/sis/son/daughter with the help of AI, and pour my entire Heart creating an imaginary world of love.

If I get my 11-year-old nephew on my lap during pain, everything would go off, as I read a story, or massage him with lotion, or stroke his hair. Even sometimes close friends would call me, asking to tell them stories, or lull them to sleep. These are my own little moments of joy. For me, love conquers all kinds of negative.

Entry for:

The Bard's Hall Contest  (13+) JUNE: BARD'S IS 20!!! PLUS: Annual Blog Contest! #981150 by StephBee

Thank you StephBee and Ẃeβ࿚Ẃỉtcĥ for giving me a great reason to blog.