Activities Blog

I Saw It All, Officer!

Prompt ▼

Prompt Card: Write a poem where each stanza contradicts the previous one.

Word Cards: Ravel / Crystal. You only need to use one word card.

"I saw it all!" the doctor said,
"As crystal clear can be!"
(Ev'n though it was 'The Great Big Fog'
of eighteen ninety-three,
and at the time he was in bed
with gout in his left knee.)

"It's lies, all lies!" the milkman cried,
"He wasn't there, you see.
Just Mrs Bun, the baker's wife
and him from number three,
that guy McGrew, the brothers Pugh
and Bill and Ben and me!"

"I say, old chap, that's not the case—
I was behind that tree,"
said Captain Black, to raised eyebrows,
"The doctor will agree—
"I have this...um...condition, and
I had to take a pee."

"Such balderdash!" the doctor cried,
"I flatly disagree!
I question very much the claim
you had to have a wee.
I've seen you get your willy out
and brandish it with glee!"

"Humbug, I say!" cried Captain Black,
while stroking his goatee.
"Now look here! Steady on, old bean!
Good Lord! My goodness me!
I've half a mind to take my stick
and thrash you mightily!"

"Now then, now then," said PC Plod,
"Let's not have anarchy!
I'm sure it's just not worth this fuss—
discretion is the key.
Let's just forget it, all go home
and have a cup of tea."

Form: ad-hoc iambic thing, 6 lines per stanza, alternating tetrameter and trimeter, all even lines rhyme.
Lines: 36