Toadette's Story: Book 2

Chapter 98 - A Protector

The castle’s basement stretched beneath the entire structure. The unwelcome foursome managed to pass a few damp passageways. But much to Mona’s annoyance, beyond them stood a massive, intricately sealed vault door. It looked straight out of a child’s fantasy, covered in various old-fashioned tumblers and modern dials. Clearly it was designed to prevent unauthorised access.

But that familiar smirk didn’t leave Mona’s face. “See that?” she asked, her voice reverberating. “That’s where our stars are hiding.”

Ana’s voice piped up from behind. “If I poof in there, will getting out be just as easy? I’ll have no more energy left, Mona.”

“Teleporting? Boring.” Mona mock-punched the air. “You and Cricket just gotta give this thing the good ol’ one-two. BAM! And if it’s got power controlling it, even better, ‘cause this bomb’s gonna fry the whole grid. Right, Penny? Penny!”

Penny snapped out her daze. “That sounds correct, yes.”

“Good.” Mona spun around. “I think our little search-‘n’-scan has been a success. We’ll comb over a bit more of the place, this dirty city and then head back to base.”

***

The air was ripe with overwatered soil. Penelope and Minh remained trapped in Koopa Koot’s backyard, the garden now full of violent plants. Thanks to his generous helping of miracle water, the plants lashed out with thorny vines. Amidst the chaos, the second of Minh’s boots was dislodged from her foot, leaving her standing barefoot on the earth.

She curled her blackened toes. If only Koopa Koot had listened to her…

“Since these things are juiced up on miracle water, our best bet is to dehydrate them!” Minh squinted up at the Sun. “But there ain’t enough heat in this climate.”

Penelope yelped, dodging a spray of tulip seeds. One lodged itself in her hair. “What about your boots?”

“What about them?” Minh asked.

“They reek! If they’re anything like Miss Toadette’s flats, maybe they’ll be so hot that they’ll make the miracle water stop working.”

“This isn’t a cartoon, Penelope.”

“Well you’re not giving me much to work with!” Penelope retorted, ducking just as a thorny rose vine swung at her like a whip.

“I’ll handle this by myself,” Minh said. “Go inside!”

Go inside? During this? Minh seriously expected her to head inside and sit down? As if Penelope wasn’t already fed up with being treated like a child. She darted away into the overgrown thicket of Koopa Koot’s backyard.

“No, Penelope!” Minh lunged after her, only to trip. Two plants wrapped their thick vines around her ankles. She gasped as they tightened and pulled her closer. “You shouldn’t even be this strong from miracle water! I wouldn’t be surprised if that loco added some crap he shouldn’t have!”

Suddenly something strange tickled the bottoms of her feet. A precise pressure prodded at her soles like tiny fingers. A shiver ran up her spine. Then a startled snicker left her throat, quickly turning into full-blown laughter.

Meanwhile, Penelope pushed her way through the various bushes and trees. Had Koopa Koot never heard of a saw? She was practically lost in a forest of danger, all in search of a smelly shoe.

Something brushed against her ear, making her jump with a scream. She landed hard in a pile of brambles. Resisting the urge to cry, she pushed herself up and ignored her scratches.

And I thought I was gonna be torn to shreds by that big Chain Chomp, she thought. Wait a minute!

Chain Chomps were good for more than just being loud and chaotic. They were expert trackers. Taking a deep breath, Penelope channelled her inner Chomp. She lowered her head and let her nose guide her through the earthy smells of the forest. But it turned out that her human genes weren’t quite up to the task of precise olfactory navigation. Every time she thought she was closing in, she found herself at a trifling dead end.

Then she caught a sniff of something noxious. A bit to the north… A little shimmy to the east…

“Found you,” she said to the broad winter boot. The moment its musk slapped her in the face, she began to breathe through her mouth. “Yuck! I can taste your smell! You’d better make yourself useful, you hear me?”

As she emerged from the underbrush, a horrified gasp escaped her. The sight before her was surreal: the arms and stems of the plants had grown even more, weaving around Minh like a spider’s web around its prey. Only her head and bare feet peeked from the green snare. And the most terrifying part? Minh was helplessly laughing as the plants tickled and scratched her soles.

Penelope cocked her head. Why were they tickling her? She remembered Toadette mentioning being trapped in a shaft in Mushroom City, with Putrid Piranhas licking her and Minh’s feet. But those plants had tongues, and their goal was clearly to poison and consume them.

At most they would shuffle through the soil and get their heads under Minh’s heels. But that didn’t make much…

Penelope screamed. Of course! They still wanted more water, and so they sought to drain it all from Minh. Her feet were just the starting point.

“Stop!” Penelope rushed into action. Immediately the rose shot thorns at her like a porcupine.

She used the thick sole of Minh’s boot as a shield, deflecting the spiny projectiles. She then lunged, jamming the boot’s opening over the rose. She yelled as a thorn jabbed into her leg. Gritting her teeth, she ignored the burning pain and held firm, praying her plan would work. The stabbing continued.

“Move, Penelope!” Minh screeched between giggles. “Get out of here!”

Penelope aggressively shook her head. How many times are you guys gonna try to make me a mannequin?

When she opened her eyes, she realised the resistance from within the boot had subsided. She lifted it, and the rose was half-wilted. Stunned, Penelope stuck her hand in the boot, further amazed by the intense heat radiating from the damp leather.

With a twisted smile, she charged towards the seed-shooting tulip and slammed the boot over it. This time the plant couldn’t retaliate, and it fell in under a minute.

“You’re all going down!”

Penelope scampered through the garden with lightning speed. As a flytrap snapped at her ankle, she smothered it with the funky boot. The powerful odour emanated a hissing noise, the scorching leather scorching the plant.

All the while, Minh was a captive audience. The vines had ramped up the pace, turning into pure tormentors. They danced across her soles with such precision, finding every tender spot. One set of vines wrapped itself around her left foot, constricting itself like a snack. Upon every contraction, a new storm of sweat rained from Minh’s plump heel, gifting the rich soil.

“No! No!” Minh writhed against the vines harder than before. Yet it only intensified the tickling. Her toes curled and spread repeatedly, especially as some vines slid between them to search for more nutrition.

“Hold on!” Penelope yelled, dodging a vine that shot out at blistering speeds.

Minh’s breath came in short gasps. “They’re squeezing my legs so tightly!”

If Penelope didn’t hurry, the plants threatened to cut off Minh’s circulation. She let out a powerful cry and made a bold charge into the gang of plants.

One stem pulled her face-first into the soil before she could make it.

The vines’ aggressiveness grew with every slight movement Penelope made. Their squeezing on Minh tightened.

Minh’s eyes bulged when she felt something slither up her pant leg. Shivering, she made a final attempt to pull away. But the plant wrapped itself around her calf, its thorns starting to dig into her skin. It rested at her knee. Another ventured under her shirt and tickled her ribs.

“Miss Minh T.,” Penelope groaned, looking up.

“I can’t—” A vine wrapped around Minh’s neck. Now her breathing was choked.

Penelope gritted her teeth. “Leave her alone!”

The next six plants fell one after another, the vines around Minh loosening until she sank face-first into the dirt. Penelope panted, finally throwing the boot to the ground.

When Minh finally pushed herself up, she stared at Penelope in shock. Penelope was so committed to ridding the garden of these menaces that she was already unearthing them. And there was no trowel in sight!

“What are you doing?” Minh asked, brushing dirt from her face. “Penelope!”

“I’m putting them in pots. They’d better behave themselves from now on.”

“For a second…” Minh collapsed back onto the soil, breathless. A slow smile crept onto her face. “I have lethally smelly feet, huh?”

“More like lethally smelly boots.” Penelope singlehandedly potted the ten stubborn plants, gave them a pitiful amount of tap water and carried them inside to join the other forty.

Koopa Koot, still muttering to himself, handed Minh her pay. “I still say your prices are too high. What’s wrong with my usual offer?”

“I have bills.”

“Hmph!” He eyed Penelope with an expression of grudging respect. “Spoiled as you look, you weren’t as useless as I thought you’d be. Only half useless.”

“Thank you?”

He tossed her a single coin. “That’s my normal token of gratitude for those who aren’t too greedy.”

Minh took Penelope’s hand. “You should use all the miracle water in the world next time, sir! And how about you don’t keep your plants inside during the winter? Be smarter.”

“Oh, that’s what you think?” he snarled, waving his cane. “We’ll see about that, lassie!”

Minh smirked. Go right ahead, you thick-headed contrarian.

Rather than heading back to Toad Town immediately, Minh patched Penelope up and took her to one of the small shops in Koopa Village. Not only did she grab her mother that pure Koopa Tea she so desired, but she also got Penelope a lollipop the size of her head. When they exited, Penelope was happily skipping through the grassy village, outpacing Minh.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” she repeated until she smacked into a tree.

“If the non-attacking tree is what kills you, I’m gonna be super disappointed,” Minh chuckled. She walked Penelope back to the car. “Funny to think that, if Toadette hadn’t left her bulky slides at my place, I never would’ve been at that castle to pick you up.”

“Are you glad she did?”

“What do you think?” Minh kicked off her boots, wiggling her toes on the dashboard as they warmed up. “You thought my job was just growing plants and picking fruits, huh?”

Penelope found herself once more lost in Minh’s toes. “Yes…”

“It ain’t as crazy as what Toadette’s got going on, but when I’ve got clients like that dude, no way can I have a normal year.”

Penelope gulped. “Do you mind if I suck on your toes?”

Minh’s toe-curling came to a halt. This was unexpected. She knew Penelope commented on her feet before, but this request was a first.

“After being in that garden, I don’t think that’s a very good idea,” she said, sticking the keys in the ignition.

“It’s okay.” Penelope took another lick of her lollipop, shutting her eyes. Her slurping accelerated as she whispered, “I can just imagine it, Jazz…”

“Come on, we don’t look that similar, now,” Minh snickered, making Penelope let out a flustered gasp. Minh then shifted into reverse. “Say, how exactly did Jazz act at that convention with you? Before the whole fire stuff.”

***

As Mona and the others pulled back into Decalburg with their rented motorbikes, she spat on the pavement. The afternoon sun had coaxed the Toads out their homes like the fungus they were. Decalburg, already considerably smaller than Toad Town, amplified the infestation. She felt like she was wading through a swamp of parasites.

She accelerated until hitting a crossroad, the front tyre of her bike coming within a hair’s length of a Toad waddling across the street with a box in hand.

“Hey, watch it!” he screamed, nearly dropping it if not for the Toad in front of him.

Mona revved the engine. “Just get out of the way.” She revved it once more. “Scram!”

“How rude!” The Toad puffed out his cheeks.

“You should be scrubbing my feet for even being nice to you, spore…” She swallowed her insult. “Now get out of my way! A normal girl’s trying to get through here!”

The Toad grumbled, navigating the box to a drab building—a storage complex of some kind. Mona only read the latter half of the title: “Seal”. As she continued towards the safehouse, a dark fantasy bloomed in her mind: the sickening crunch of bone, the satisfying thud of her bike hitting a Toad at full speed…

Behind her, Penny cringed. She glanced at Cricket, silently asking, “Are we really doing the right thing here?” But her words remained trapped in her throat.

Minutes later, they parked the bikes outside the safehouse.

“The fat Toad girl was right,” Mona said, stripping out her clothes as if they were contaminated. “I’ve seen tighter security in a strip club than at that castle.”

There was still no word from 13-Amp’s crew, but Mona was already moving forward. Her plan was simple: get into the castle, blow up the second floor, dive into the deepest underground passageway to find the stars and escape. Ana’s ninja skills could make the stars invisible for airport security. While this would require Ana not being fatigued, Mona had doubts they’d even need to fight.

Penny looked up from her laptop. “You can’t let us forego the whole part about exploding innocents, can you.”

“Why should I?” Mona asked genuinely.

“You shouldn’t have to ask that!” Penny raised her voice. “People will get hurt!”

“I know.” Mona rolled her eyes. “Penny, you promised me you were down for this. You’re aiming for a C, just scraping by with the bare minimum. I want Wario to grade me with an A plus, meaning above and beyond the stratosphere.”

“Mona…”

“Next Friday,” she said, putting a finger on Penny’s lips. “You’re building that bomb. We’re gonna be infamous unknowns on the news. End of discussion.” She then turned away with a saccharine smile, strutting towards the bathroom. “Cricket and Ana! You wanna order some pizza while I’m washing these spores off of me?”

As Mona went on about how she felt like she caught a disease in the castle, Penny slammed her laptop shut. The chemical formulas for bomb preparation were already etched in her mind. A complex process, but it was child’s play for her.

“You’re building that bomb,” she says. Like I wanna be involved with hurting these poor Toads who did nothing wrong. Why doesn’t she just build a bomb?

Then a lightbulb went off in Penny’s head. With a little tweak to chemistry in her brain, a wide grin stretched across her face.

***

Jazz? Social? How is that even possible?

Jasmin was the resident mute of Minh’s family. Oh, she’d manage a few words when absolutely necessary around relatives, but around anyone else, her lips were sealed tighter than glue. Since childhood is supposed to be all about forging bonds and learning to interact, they’d been trying forever to get Jasmin out of her shell. And yet every attempt to give something resembling a normal child’s social life had backfired.

But here was Penelope. In the span of a few hours, she drew out more of Jasmin’s personality than any other stranger. Minh, who was thoroughly licking Penelope’s feet while driving, became more impressed the longer Penelope recounted that evening.

“The fact that she didn’t run away when you started the fight with that boy…”

Penelope shrugged. “She probably knew the cops were coming.”

“Doubt it.” Minh plopped one of Penelope’s toes out her mouth.

“It’s not like we’re friends,” Penelope lamented. “She went right back to being all depressed and weird once we were done with the convention.”

Minh chuckled softly. “Maybe she was just bracing herself for the trouble she was in with me. Honestly if you guys went to the same school, I bet you’d be good friends.”

“I don’t know…”

After a few more minutes of wetting Penelope’s salt-covered feet, Minh finally shifted her focus back to the road ahead. But a new thought had just occurred to her.

“Any thoughts on Jazz’s feet?” she asked.

“I told you I don’t like her like that.”

“Okay, okay, but you still said mine were beautiful.” Minh winked. “What about hers, eh?”

“They stink. Way too much.”

“Then they’re perfect.” Minh lowered her voice. “Between you and me, I like to get a little whiff of her sandals whenever nobody’s around.”

Penelope turned green. “Blech! I almost died when I smelt them! And she warned me not to!”

“Boo! Lame!” exclaimed Minh playfully, beginning to pull into her parents’ driveway. “I could shrink down and use those babies as a vacation home. Live right among the stink.”

“If she scrubbed them super clean with a big soap bar…I wouldn’t mind playing with them then,” Penelope confessed, blushing. “Am I making this too weird?”

“Relax. Around me, all’s good.” Minh stepped out the car with the groceries. “Next time she’s here, as much as it pains me, I’ll nudge her to wash her feet. At least I’ll still have her stale sandals to sniff to my heart’s content.”

“What about her sister’s?”

“A bit too clean.” Minh’s smile faded slightly. “Here, help me get this stuff inside.”

True to her word, Minh had Penelope back at the castle before two o’clock.

“Thanks for all your help today,” she said, patting Penelope on the head. “And I didn’t say it earlier, but thanks for looking out for Jazz out there.”

“It’s no big deal.”

“She can be difficult, but it would destroy me if anything bad happened to her. You were like her protector on that day, huh?”

Her protector?

Penelope’s arrival lined up perfectly with Toadette’s plan to train her starting at four. As the late afternoon hit, the two were back in the castle courtyard. This time, however, Penelope’s confidence was noticeably higher. It surprised Toadette, for the training session barely lasted a minute before they had to pause.

“You actually caught me,” Toadette said, staring at Penelope’s raccoon tail on her chest.

“Yep!” Penelope bounced back. “Now teach me how to take to the skies!”

“Not yet. That’ll take some time. But clearly we can move on from basic movement.”

“Oh, I’m ready, Miss Toadette.” Penelope hopped into a fighting stance, glaring intently. “If I can’t fly today, then fight me. I wanna knock people away with this thing!”

“Just remember I’m no expert myself.” Toadette cracked her knuckles, chuckling at Penelope’s inability to stand still. “Someone’s an eager beaver today.”

“If I need to protect someone, then I need to know how to do it perfectly.”

***

“Hope that was a good enough example for you,” Toadette panted. Penelope’s tail was still twitching erratically, far longer than either of them had expected. “We’re done.”

“I feel I could go a bit longer,” Penelope said, preparing to launch another attack.

Toadette caught her by the face. “You did good. Don’t push it.”

“Sorry.”

Releasing Penelope, Toadette looked into the sky. It was now painted in oranges and purples—the sign of dusk. Aka the sign of her dinner and shower time. When she looked back at Penelope, the younger girl was still jittery.

“Minh must’ve gotten you hooked on something,” she chuckled.

“I’m not on a hook, Miss Toadette.”

“Hey, go take a bath before you stink up the whole castle.” Toadette gave her a light shove forward. “I’m gonna do the same.”

But as Toadette turned a corner, a series of voices stopped her. She recognised one voice instantly: Captain Toad. Peeking, she saw four figures heading for the basement. It was Bank, the green-spotted member of the Toad Brigade; Hints, the blue-spotted member; and Yellow, the yellow-spotted member with the mouth.

Just like that, her exhaustion vanished, replaced by that familiar burst of tingling energy. Was it curiosity? Intrigue? It was certainly related to seeing Toad.

Before her pants became moist, she found herself moving. She slipped off her flats, tiptoeing on her nyloned feet. From down a long corridor, she watched them reach a heavy door and disappear inside.

What kind of boys’ nights do they like to have?

She crept closer to the door, pressing her head against the wood. Some of the conversation filtered through, muffled by the icy water sloshing around her feet.

“…almost got yourself killed in Mushroom City,” Bank said from the other side.

“But I lived, didn’t I?” That was Toad, his voice confident. “This isn’t going to be anything like the Star Festival. I’m just searching around the nearby outskirts, like any other solo expedition I’ve done.”

“Yeah, and all so you can find something shiny for Toadette.”

Toadette’s heart jumped. She leaned closer in, even removing her cap to get her ear right against the door.

“Think of it as a small bonus,” Toad chuckled. “Besides, why shouldn’t I gift her? She sailed all the way to Lavalava Island to find me while you fools were picking your noses.”

“We were ready to head out next week,” Hints contested calmly.

“I would’ve been crispier than a Lil’ Oink by then,” Toad shot back.

“Knowing you, you’d make it,” Yellow said. “Why do you bother with her, captain? The girl’s got more air in her head than a P Balloon. Looks like she doesn’t know which way is up half the time.”

Toadette raised a brow. Rude.

“He’s not wrong,” Hints chimed in. “Remember the festival? She nearly got herself obliterated. None of us ended up with an arm twisted into a knot like a pretzel.”

“And the whining,” Bank spat. “Whenever there’s some dirt in the castle, she’s quick to complain. She’s lucky we’ve only been around her when you’re there, because I would be tearing into her every second.”

“She’s got nerve whining when she smells like an inking Blooper,” Yellow chuckled. “Like she never heard of a bar of soap in her life. ‘Soap, soap, what is soap?’ Guess it fits, what with her growing up in that poorhouse you told us about.”

Toadette’s jaw dropped. He told them about my childhood?

“Enough!” Toad’s command was sharp. “Toadette’s not perfect, but she’s—”

“Smart?” Yellow laughed. “Captain, weren’t we all rolling on the floor about her walking into a volcano with those office lady shoes on? Didn’t you have to rescue her from those preschool ninja girls? You can do way much better dating a slimy Goomba than chasing after that useless sack of spores.”

A painful silence filled the room. Not a single voice rose in Toadette’s defence. Their silence was a damning agreement that formed a big lump in her throat. Her lip began to tremble.

“This is not what we came here to discuss, Yellow!” Toad roared. “Keep this up, and I’ll give you more than a broken arm!”

“Alright, alright, chill out, captain,” Yellow said, smacking his lips. “I’m just saying it proves how tough you are, being able to tolerate that thing.”

Toadette’s vision blurred. Her efforts to stop a tear from leaving her eye were in vain. And once the first left, a second one followed. She held her hand against her mouth, hiding her heavier breaths.

“Hey, does anyone else smell that?” someone asked.

“Yeah, what is that?”

Yellow coughed. “Ugh, smells like someone cooked that rich-people cheese.”

Toad inhaled. Then he looked towards the door. Outside, Toadette’s nose finally registered the pungent odour. Her damp, nyloned feet, combined with the cold basement air, had created a dreadful stench. Her cheeks were red, not just from the building rage. She flipped directions, ready to run.

“Toadette. I know you’re out there.”

No point in hiding. Taking a deep breath, she opened the door, her eyes red.

She stepped into the small, beige room, her eyes fixed on the four figures within. Her breathing was controlled but always threatening to accelerate.

“So I’m just a thing? I’m useless? What parts did I miss?”

Toad stepped forward. “Toadette, listen, I tried to tell them—”

“You tried?” she scoffed. “If you cared, you wouldn’t have let them finish. You wouldn’t have laughed about me behind my back. I love how I was such an idiot for being able to rescue you in lava with mildly unconventional footwear.”

She stared them down from left to right. Bank, Hints and Yellow. It was the last one who remained with a sly smirk on his face.

“I think it’s her time of the month, captain.”

Toadette growled. “I’m an airhead? Alright. Prove it.”

“Prove what?” Yellow asked.

“Prove you big guys can back up all that tough talk.” Toadette slung her winter coat off, letting it fly to the corner with a heavy landing. “No items, no weapons. Fight me.”

Toad groaned. “We are not doing this, Toadette. It’s late, you’re tired, and—”

“You might wanna hush!” She pointed to his men. “What’s wrong? You boys got cold feet? Afraid to handle the poor bitch of the castle without your captain protecting you?”

Bank shuffled his feet nervously. “Toadette… That’s not necessary. We’re just adventurers, not exactly fighters.”

Hints nodded. “Indeed. Physical confrontation lies outside our typical operational parameters.”

Toadette’s frustration only grew. They had the nerve to tear her apart with their callous words but not the courage to face her wrath?

“Okay, Miss Stank Foot.” Yellow stepped forward, cracking his knuckles. “Let’s get your period stress over with. But as a gentleman, I’ll go easy. Wouldn’t wanna hurt a girl.”

Toadette let out a short snort. “That’s funny,” she murmured, adjusting her glasses. “Because I’m gonna have to try hard to avoid putting you in the ground.”

----------

Author’s Note:
For someone so good with plants, Minh T. sure is on the receiving end of them often. Next week we’ll see if Toadette can back up her tough talk. She’d better beat Yellow and give him a humiliating punishment with her stinky-ass feet.