Team Ahimsa Blog Relay, Various Contests

Blessings

Words: 718
For "The Bard's Hall Contest" 

Dear Mom/Dad,

You were so right - the sights and sounds of Tanzania are truly amazing, and I am learning so much both in college and out of it.

Thank you for sending me here, it has been a blessing.

And you'll be very glad to know that you have a blessing, too. You have a new daughter-in-law, or rather, a soon to be daughter-in-law. And I know you'll bestow me with my wedding gift before the wedding, because I need it for the wedding to happen. The list of requirements and how many $$ for each is enclosed, be a pair of dears and send it across ASAP won't you? I mean, you can do without the car, the washing machine, the TV and some of your knick-knacks, so it won't be hard to sell them and get the dough real quick.

And they're Masai, so there'll be the traditional exchange of gifts between her parents and the two of you. I think you'll get jewels and weapons and probably an animal or two - please come up with something equivalent to send them. Some furniture, or a piano or something like that, you get my drift.

Only don't take too long thinking it up, because the wedding has to happen before my bride-to-be starts - er - showing. Showing. Mom has understood. Dad, I guess I need to spell it out, Yes, not only a daughter-in-law, there's a grandchild in the making for you as well. I hope it's a girl and I hope she gets her looks from her mother and her brains from her maternal uncle and her heart from the two of you. You are the biggest hearted parents I know and you're going to be great as grandma and grandpa.

Now I've got some assignments to finish, the tribal dance master is very strict and if I don't get my practical test exactly right he'll fail me. I have a bevvy of beauties to help me, they'll be here with their djembes in exactly five minutes. Oh, there's the doorbell, one of them is five minutes early, bless her.

Your loving and obedient son,
Paul.

P.S. Just kidding, Mom/Dad! I'll be home for the Holidays!

Mom/Dad, who had read the above missive together, now reacted in their respective ways.

Meg burst out laughing and sank on to the sofa. Colin clutched the letter and staggered sideways on to his armchair. "Phew. What do you find so funny? I almost had a stroke!"

Meg wiped her streaming eyes, hiccupped herself to silence and sat up straight. "Are we going to let him get away with this?"

Colin's eyes twinkled. "Wife, I love the way your mind works."

Paul did come home for the holidays. And the first thing they did was to attend Christmas-eve service at the church. It was a closely knit congregation of 100 people, and Father Damian knew each one personally.

At the end of the service, he called out from the pulpit, "And my dear ladies, gentlemen and children. I have a special announcement to make. Our very own Paul is back from his adventures abroad, and his bride-to-be is going to follow!"

Paul blushed as the congregation burst into applause and cheers. Several ladies (who had dandled him on their knees when he was this high) left their pews and ran to hug and kiss him.

"But -- but --" he stammered.

"We have booked the date here at the church. I shall preside personally. Your mother has picked the wedding gown and the cake. You'll use your grandma's wedding ring, that's traditional in your family. Oh, and if you'll let us know when she starts to show, we'll book the baby's baptism, too."

There was another roar and everyone stood up and clapped. "A standing ovation," Colin said, beaming at his son.

"Oh, and dear," Meg shouted, above the roars of the congregation, "you'll want to take her for the honeymoon in a Rolls Royce, I'm guessing, so there's one parked outside for you to test drive. Must plan all the details."

Paul extricated himself with difficulty and pelted down the aisle. He had to go, run, anywhere.

Whoa!!

There was a Rolls there, waiting.

And where the 'Just Married' sign would've hung, there was a board saying 'Hey Paul we were only kidding!'