My Conversion Story Journal

December 14, 2025

Tonight is the first night of Chanukah. It is the start of my first Chanukah season as a Jew. I spent a couple of hours watching children decorate a foam menorah, make latkes, and bounce on a giant dreidel. It was a good, fun, and joy filled couple of hours.

After the sun went down, I lit my first Chanukah candles and sat and watched them burn over an hour until they went out. I thanked Hashem for this moment and this day. I thanked him for all of the blessings that he has given me. I know I am blessed.

The day wasn't perfect, and it had me wondering if there will ever be a holiday that is not marred by tragedy. No one was surprised by the attack in Australia, nor any other attack that has happened recently. I think that is just as sad. When will life be sacred to the world again? Has it ever been?

Even in the midst of another tragedy, I lit my candles with a fresh feeling of thankfulness and hope. I watched as cars slowed down to look in my patio door at he menorah as they were driving past. What impact does that tiny light have on the world? Does it have any? I don't know. I think there are moments in our lives when we don't need to focus on the rest of the world but, instead, to focus on ourselves and our own spiritual journey. I have hopes and dreams for a better and more loving world, yes, but I also have hopes to attend three menorah lightings, attend a concert, and a dinner all before Shabbat starts. These may seem like small insignificant events in the light of so much tragedy, but they are small moments of hope, happiness, and light. My light may be small in a world filed with so much sadness, but as long as it keeps shining, I'm going to cling to hope, to happiness, and to light.

Happy Chanukah.