Thoughts Journal

Third Surgery -- Not Again

The doctor ended up flooring my husband and I yesterday when he said the pins where coming loose yet again. I am so glad we did not take the kids this time. I went into a total mental breakdown in the doctor's patient room. I was trying to do everything he said with very few mishaps and all. Nothing seems to work.

So we are going to go through the surgery again tomorrow, Friday. This time around he is going to put me in a cast for about 8 weeks. He probably should have done this the last time but I'm not the doctor. I do know that my bones on that side of my body does not heal that fast because of the cerebral palsy I have on that side of my body.

I am so upset. This third one better work for the health of my family. My husband has been so overwhelmed lately he ended up going to the ER on Saturday evening with Bronchitis. We simply need me as well as possible soon.

If this does not work I am thinking I may have to go to Southern California where my Mom lives because there are doctors who deal with children and adults with cerebral palsy on a daily basis. My case is simply overwhelming my doctor. I am his first case that this has happened to once and now twice. I may even be his first cerebral palsy case. Lucky me!

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I am more myself in solitude. For in solitude I am myself.
-(c)Melia Benjamin, August 2000

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