Thoughts Journal

April Fools Jokes

I have to say that the April Fool's joke around here did not amuse me one bit. I was especially not happy with all the faces. The fact that the faces did not reflect my feelings did not help one bit. I was having a good day until I saw the sad faces in my name, it annoyed me quite a bit.

I don't think it was appropriate on a site of this caliber. What would happen if someone's agent or publisher would have come to the site for the first time and that is what they saw. They may have been turned off by the whole aspect that the site looked very amateur.

I hate April Fool's day jokes in general as well because in my home jokes were the norm directed towards me. My parents' and siblings got a joy ride seeing me get all upset before they would say that they were just joking with me. I am a literal person and like to have things told to me the way that they truly are and if someone wants to say something in my face (or behind my back) I want it to be the absolute truth about me or my family.

I feel that the jokes that were played on me hurt me tremendously and have had a harsh lasting effect on my psyche. I suffer from dysthymia which at times debilitates me. I believe it stems back from the days of old when I never felt good enough for the parents (mom and step-dad) I lived with -- no I was not my sister and I think they wanted me to be.

I was not quite after my parents' divorce. My sister was a recluse when it came to the issues and would hide in her room most of the time while I would take the brunt of the pressure betweren my real parents.I wanted my say.

The jokes continued until the day I left my parents' home when I was 24 and moved in with my now husband. I ended up moving from Southern California to Missouri. I believe that was the best thing I have ever done in my life, even though it was very hard on me. Up until then, I had never been away from my mom. She made sure of that.