trapped in a soap opera

things im realizing about myself

lately ive kinda been doing a lot of thinking about myself, about who i was and who i am. mostly just contemplating people ive met and my summer wardrobe from last year. wondering what to buy this year because i pretty much ended up with only a tiny bit of it when the house got trashed in OK.

do i wear and buy the stuff that i did in OK? somehow i just dont feel as comfortable in them. kind of like theyre remnants from a previous life. not that i wont wear some of it sometimes when im in a crazy mood, but i kind of feel like since im i guess a little more comfortable with myself (maybe or maybe not but anyway), pretty much that was who i was, and i really beleive that im different now then i was then. the clothes were pretty slutty and at the time i must admit i was too. since ive been here ive been with one person, considered one or two others, but its not like it was there, where if i went without sex for like 3 days i was goin crazy tryin to find the nearest available person. dont knwo if it is because i have someone sort of or just because ive changed, i guess that i will find out when he leaves. but until then like i said i really dont feel comfortable in them. who knows what goes on in this mind of mine but i guess i had better go memorize lines. later