All four of my daughters were vets from the moment of birth. They were all born while I was on Active Duty, were born in Army hospitals, and bounced back and forth between the U.S. and West Germany with their mom and me (the eldest ones more than once).
Ouch. Too real for me today. I was homeless years ago and Montana has a high vet population struggling with personal issues. This literally could be today's headlines here.
My comment is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE POEM
The poem is a nice tribute to a military mother.
WHAT I LIKED
I can totally relate to this poem having served in the military myself. There are often times one worries and finds things to pass the time, but their loved one is never far from their hearts.
STRUCTURE
This is a villanelle. A villanelle is a highly structured poem with 5 tercets and ends with a quatrain. There are 2 repeating rythmes and 2 repeating refrains. The poem followed the structure. I thought the repeating refrains were very respectful and reverent. There's a nice rythme and flow when spoken outloud.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML to increase font and make easier to read on the website.
DESCRIPTIONS
I liked: With steadfast devotion, she prays to relieve the anxiety" The description draws up a visual of a mother, prayerful, with a holy book, or a passage, heart on their sleeve, looking to find peace. It's a great description and taps into somber emotion well.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
The opening engages the reader. The title is a nice fit for the poem. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Contest.
The Philippine Islands is a Southeast Asia country located in the Western Pacific Ocean. Filipino poetry dates back before colonization and has been an intregal part of the Filipino culture. The earliest Tagalog epics are written in verse.
Master poets show us how
to push the poetic plow
and compose poems in the now.
Please all stand and take a bow.
~~ Tinker
The Tanaga is a Filipino verse form that was originally composed in Tagolog, which to my ear is one of the more musical of languages. (Kumusta ka? Mabuti salam at) The form dates back to the 16th century and has an oral tradition. This old folk form had a resurgence of popularity in the 20th century, died down and resurfaced again mid 21st century. The poems are not titled. Originally it was a compact poem, contained in 4 lines, each is emotionally charged and asks a question that begs an answer.
The elements of the Tanaga are:
1. a tetrastich, a poem in 4 lines. However, modern poets have modified it to longer works in a stanzaic pattern of any number of quatrains.
2. syllabic, 7-7-7-7 syllables per line.
3. rhymed, originally monorhymed aaaa. Modern Tanagas also use aaaa bbbb etc., or aabb ccdd etc or abba cddc etc or any combination rhyme can be used.
4. asks a question seeking an answer
5. composed with the liberal use of metaphor
6. untitled. But in this poetic world we kind of have to title our poems for identity's sake.
I'd Like to Think, It Knew
Saintly sentinel stands guard,
oversees nature's regard.
St. Francis in my front yard,
stone statue weathered and scarred.
The welcome, silent and stead,
his story of care is widespread.
A brown bird lights on his head
to peruse the garden bed.
Do you think it may have known
what the ancient priest had sown?
In Christ he was never alone,
love for all life he'd intone.
~~Judi Van Gorder
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