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Thu, May 22, 2025

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Le Voyage Magnifique

by Dave

Rated: 18+ · Book · Writing · #1236257

A log of the magnificent journey across the vast sea of my imagination.

A sig awarded for winning "The Anything Goes Poetry Contest"

A log of our magnificent journey.

Show Recent Comments

10 Most Recent Blog Comments:

Soldier_Mike

Apr 18, 2025 at 11:44pm
In response to "Military "Brat""

All four of my daughters were vets from the moment of birth. They were all born while I was on Active Duty, were born in Army hospitals, and bounced back and forth between the U.S. and West Germany with their mom and me (the eldest ones more than once).

1 Like

Dave

Sep 18, 2024 at 2:09pm
In response to "The Call"

Yes, a blending of recent newscasts inspired this one.

Kåre เลียม Enga

Sep 17, 2024 at 2:22pm
In response to "The Call"

Ouch. Too real for me today. I was homeless years ago and Montana has a high vet population struggling with personal issues. This literally could be today's headlines here.

1 Like

AnotherDreamer

Aug 26, 2024 at 3:19pm
In response to "Smorgasbord"

Thank you for reminding me. I can almost taste the salt in the air from here

1 Like

StephBee

Jun 4, 2024 at 6:51pm
In response to "Military Mom"

My comment is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM

The poem is a nice tribute to a military mother.

WHAT I LIKED

I can totally relate to this poem having served in the military myself. There are often times one worries and finds things to pass the time, but their loved one is never far from their hearts.

STRUCTURE

This is a villanelle. A villanelle is a highly structured poem with 5 tercets and ends with a quatrain. There are 2 repeating rythmes and 2 repeating refrains. The poem followed the structure. I thought the repeating refrains were very respectful and reverent. There's a nice rythme and flow when spoken outloud.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML to increase font and make easier to read on the website.

DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: With steadfast devotion, she prays to relieve the anxiety" The description draws up a visual of a mother, prayerful, with a holy book, or a passage, heart on their sleeve, looking to find peace. It's a great description and taps into somber emotion well.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader. The title is a nice fit for the poem. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Contest.

[Visit the entry for more...]

StephBee

Dec 7, 2023 at 9:47pm
In response to "Thanksgiving Restoration"

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM

Inspired by a quote from Henry van Dyke, the progresses from feeling, to expression to action inspired by a thanksgiving gathering.

WHAT I LIKED

I like how each stanza started with "I'm thankful for..." The repetition was as soothing as the sentiments expressed.

STRUCTURE

As per the notes, this is loosely based on a monchielle styled poem.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read.

DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "the smell of Grammy's turkey dressing,"

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The poem progresses much like van Dyke's quote, from feeling to expression to action/being in the moment of a thanksgiving gathering.

[Visit the entry for more...]

Kåre เลียม Enga

Oct 30, 2023 at 1:36am
In response to "A Halloween Celebration"

Nice rhythm and alliteration! The rhymes work as well. Edit and versify and voila... you have a free-verse poem (or a prose poem) for Shadows & Light.

My dreamy brain... ghoulish? dark? My nightmares are definitely disturbing and don't always dissipate with daylight.

Needless to say, I like it.

Kåre เลียม Enga

May 19, 2023 at 9:25am
In response to "Poppies"

I do like it. The rhythm is nice. I appreciate bravery/Normandy/memory.

"because" doesn't work for me. No suggestions though.

1 Like

StephBee

Jan 5, 2023 at 5:40pm
In response to "SILENT NIGHT"

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM
A poem about the nature of the Christmas season.

WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the acrostic of "silent night" painted the beauty of winter.

STRUCTURE

This is an acrostic poem. It is where the first letter of the line spell out a word or a phrase.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML to make the poem easy to read. Good use of WDC ML.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I have no other suggestions. Nice word play. You can feel the weather nipping at your cheeks. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Contest.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall

** Animated Images For Use By Premium+ Only **

Dave

Jan 3, 2023 at 8:32am
In response to "The Gravel Path"

I am glad you posted this on the forum so everyone else can enjoy it.

1 Like

January 25, 2022 at 5:56pm

#1025372

Clutter

All this clutter in my brain,
swarming in on humongous scale,
is about to drive me insane.

Inundated by hordes of hated junk mail,
touting products from used cars to insurance,
my mind feels dazed and abused, making me wail.

The TV plies subliminal transference
of messages to convert fiscal restraint
into rabid cravings without deterrence.

Folks push their way through my phone lines to acquaint
me with credit deals and vacation resort,
devouring my energy until I feel faint.

Computer spam now invites me to cavort
with Oprah for free, at least that's what they say,
while concealing their vile intent to extort.

Besieged by drumming ploys, I can only pray
for relief and escape to some cabaret.

17 lines

Comment • View 1 comment

January 24, 2022 at 6:19pm

#1025309

Haiku 1/24/2022

winter blast
transforms the way we think
about haiku hook.

Comment

January 22, 2022 at 3:26pm

#1025202

Bliss

A barren sheet of paper waits
for someone who appreciates
and very often orchestrates

artistic possibilities,
such as linguistic symphonies
or dynamic soliloquys,
which come gushing out of flood gates,

like children run to lollipop
or teeny boppers at the hop.
Coal-black ink flows and will not stop
until scribe's bliss accumulates,

and joyful song of meadowlarks
emerges from the author's marks,
escorting emotional sparks,
while sated paper radiates.

Notes ▼

Comment

January 9, 2022 at 2:36pm

#1024411

Another Day

Honka! Honka! Honka!
All hands to General Quarters! This is not a drill.

And so another day begins
aboard the USS Kennedy
at 0300 hours on Sunday morning.

Deep in the bowels of the ship,
the steam is hissing,
and the turbines are turning,
as we proceed at flank speed
to meet the enemy.

Notes ▼

Comment

January 5, 2022 at 3:43pm

#1024236

Final Goodbye

A shadow hovers over room
where final plans are being made
for Grandpa's journey to his tomb
in solemn funeral parade.

Then, the party will commence
to celebrate his lengthy life
despite the austere influence
of caustic economic strife.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6NyzpMpbdzQ

Comment

January 3, 2022 at 3:48pm

#1024102

The Curse

The curse of winter season's hoar,
when chill and gloom bring icy plume
with spirits frozen to the core,
as cold winds blow and drift the snow.

My psyche is becoming numb
within the grip of winter's nip.
I cannot wait for spring to come
and melt away this fierce display.

Comment

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