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 Tales from real life |
| Well, if they're not true, they oughta be! |
It's not a lie if stupid people believe it. - The Gospel of Trump Actually, I think it's sweet of Big Benny to nominate Lil Donny for a prize. It's not like Donny is ever going to win a prize for real! And besides, the Nobel awards have been limited to hard-working overachievers for far too long. It's time that the morons, incompetents, and moral degenerates get a chance. Who do those intelligent, caring, and talented people think they are? Better than the rest of us? Is hard work and merit what winning a prize is all about? Not in today's America! DEI under the MAGA regime eliminates standards and lowers the bar so that even the least qualified and deplorable toady can be given a prestigious position that they haven't earned. So, have a little sympathy for the kid whose mom packs him off to military school because he's such a little shit. Show some consideration for a guy whose grades are so bad that he has to take out a legal injunction to prevent them from becoming public. At the very least, you could pity the small-hands man who never had a woman who didn't charge him for enjoying her company. At some level, it must feel pathetic when you have to build an entire luxury golf resort just to award yourself a trophy. And it's really sad when you have to throw your own birthday party. Doubly so when the guests show up only because their commanding officers order them to be there. It's not easy having a D-minus intellect in a competitive world. It totally isn't fair that no one gives out prizes for greatest liar or biggest cheater. There's just no appreciation for a would-be dictator who bullies the weak and inspires America to be the worst version of itself. What's a convicted felon and confirmed rapist have to do to gain a little respect? How is he supposed to feel like a winner? Having a bunch of losers fawn over you at cabinet meetings isn't all that satisfying when they're on your payroll. That's why it's so important that King Don the Turd finally gets a real prize. And we won't call it a participation trophy or dismiss it as a DEI program. No, we'll hire the biggest, bestest, most loyal crowd in recorded history! And they'll all cheer like they really mean it. Or else they'll be deported. Because Lil Donny can't handle the truth. |
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