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 a place for my responses to the prompts from Andre the Blog Monkey's Banana Bar |
Fun times never stop at "Invalid Item"  .
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| He looked dapper as he stood at the podium in his slate grey Italian suit and lilac colored silk tie and matching pocket square. I had finally talked him out of wearing the newsboy cap earlier that day, and I was thankful that he had finally listened. He looked foolish in the thing. It was going to be enough of a gamble to keep him from going off-script or getting drunk before the speech. The media would definitely find something wrong with Andre or his speech and let the rest of the world know their opinions. Because that's what the media had come to, everyone writing their opinions and calling it real news. When I was a kid, there were columns in the newspapers for it and whole magazines devoted to it, like the National Enquirer. Now here we are, forty years later and there is no "real news" anymore. A monkey running for president was news though. It was big news. Being early in the primaries, Andre had yet to decide who his running mate would be, but he had a few in mind. As he stood up there grinning and waving, I waited backstage with fingers crossed. "Please don't mess this up Andre. Just read the speech we wrote," I thought. And he opened his mouth. All the crowd heard was chattering monkey noises. Someone had forgotten to turn on the translator app. "Reekekkekk ahahah... and as your president I promise I will do everything in my power to make sure the children of this great nation are encouraged to read with my Bananas for Books program. I intend that all American youth will be able to compete with the rest of the world stage on an academic level. Another issue I am passionate about is..." Andre is still talking as the microphone malfunctions and the tech crew works to get it fixed. "...And finally, I will ensure the peoples of this great nation come together. The time for division is over, it is now time for us to unify as one and heal this country and her people! Thank you. Good night!" Andre steps back from the microphone and begins talking to me from the stage unaware that the microphone is still on. "Let's get out of here and get to the Banana Bar! I've got some vodka with my name on it!" The headline of the major media outlets read, "Surge in Vodka Sales Following Presidential Candidate Speech" Now, who's ready for a banana martini?  |
| Blame it on my Muse a 5 DAY Blog Challenge January 24-28 DAY 1 PROMPT - 1/24/22 You have to prepare a complex meal for a special occasion, all of your family and friends will be in attendance. Oh, oh... You are completely out of every ingredient and you don't have time to go shopping. You have to send your muse out shopping, there's no other option. What do you send your muse to shop for? What does your muse return with, and how does your dinner party turn out? Since my daughter is pregnant with her first child, my first grandbaby, I thought it would be nice to throw a celebratory feast for all our family and friends. We expected a lot of people, so I decided to start the meal off with the classic, tortilla chips and a choice between pico de gallo and salsa verde for the guests to graze on until the first course was ready to be served. I had planned on armadillo eggs as the appetizer, followed by grilled sirloin steaks, garden salad, and fully loaded baked potatoes. For anybody who still had enough room left for dessert, there would be cheesecake, as it is my daughter's favorite, and a cherry crumble. Having been called in to work, I didn't have time to go shopping for the supplies for this meal. I decided it couldn't hurt to send one of my muses to pick the stuff up for me. I should have ordered it online and just sent her to pick it up, but I never even thought about that; after all, I have to do everything the hard way. So, I write down a list of everything that'll be needed and sweet talk my muse MJ into going to get it, emphasizing how important the task is. I even asked her to let me know when she made it back with everything. Ingredients: Yellow Onions, Jalapeno Peppers, Garlic, Tortilla Chips, Cilantro, Salsa Verde, Pork Breakfast Sausage, Bacon, Cheddar Cheese, Cream cheese, Barbecue Sauce, Baking-sized Potatoes, Sirloin Steaks, Spring Mix Cherry Tomatoes, Shredded Carrots, Salad Dressings, Sour Cream, Bacon Bits, Butter, Graham Crackers, Vanilla, Eggs, Sugar, Cinnamon, Cherry Pie Filling, Brown Sugar, Flower, Oats I left this important job in her hands and went back to work. I should have known better; MJ is a sweet girl, but she's a bit spacey - loopy even. (Don't worry, she doesn't care when I tell people how I see her, she knows she's that way and thinks it's funny.) I started to worry when a few hours went by and I hadn't heard from her. By the time I clocked out of work and made it home, I was in a near panic. My anxiety proved to be well-founded, however. When I walk into the house, MJ is stretched out on the couch watching Beavis and Butthead reruns, laughing hysterically. She was surrounded by mountains of junk food. I saw boxes of cereal, Ding Dongs, cookies, snack cakes, popcorn, ice cream, bags of gummy bears, candy bars, beef jerky - the only thing she had gotten that was on my list was the chips! I ask her, "MJ, what happened? Where are the ingredients I asked for?" MJ looks at me undoubtedly high, and responds, "Yeah, well, about that... I already had the munchies when I got to the store, and... I saw so much that looked so good... and I forgot that I needed to pick up things for you. Besides, I think I lost the list you gave me." "MJ how am I going to get a feast ready for everyone without the ingredients I need to make everything?" I exasperatedly ask her. "Sheesh! I dunno. That's for you to figure out," she dismissively retorted as she turned the volume on the television louder. I called around looking for a restaurant that could accommodate our large gathering and found one willing to fit us in on such short notice. We ended up having Mexican food. But that's okay, my daughter loved it. And they had cheesecake on the menu. |
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