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 a place for my responses to the prompts from Andre the Blog Monkey's Banana Bar |
Fun times never stop at "Invalid Item"  .
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| Today's blog challenge is to write: A (your choice) proverb describing these days of your own. You may be inspired to write about folklore in addition to your proverb or instead of a proverb. Have fun with the borrowed time. Proverbs like: "March borrowit from April Three days, and they were ill: The first was frost, the second was snaw [snow], The third was cauld [cold] as ever’t could blaw [blow]." and "In like a lion, out like a lamb/In like a lamb, out like a lion" have no bearing on the weather in Texas. Here, things are a little more unpredictable. Weather forecasts seldom actually predict what is going to happen in Texas. The best (and only) way to describe Texas weather is... "If you don't like the weather, wait five minutes." OR "In Texas, even the weather says, 'Hold my beer and watch this shit!'" Things are a little more interesting where I live. We are subject to this strange phenomenon where poor weather will split and go around the city. Old tales say that a coven of witches had set up a protective circle around the town to protect the town from bad weather and evil spirits. This supposed circle is where the city built the loop that goes around the city today. Whatever is really the case (probably some magnetic thing or something to do with the elevation of the city), storms do actually split and go around the city most of the time. We have had a few tornadoes over the years, and some great (for east Texas) snowstorms, but nothing to write home to Mom about.  |
| Did you recently make a significant purchase? (Gasoline doesn't count) Is there something you have that has reached its end-life? Are you planning any major purchases or changes to your lifestyle? What's your take on this 'New Normal' we hear about? Significant purchase? Can't say as I have. I'm a bit of a tightwad and do not like to spend money unless I have to. However, I haven't been able to stop buying little baby gifts for my soon-to-be-born granddaughter. (First time grandma here, and I'm going crazy with all the cute baby stuff I keep finding!)... oh, and the phone I had to replace because the old one fell from my pocket as I was sitting down, causing the screen to shatter when it hit the floor. Is there something you have that has reached its end-life? Other than my body, lemme see... my shed out back, my husband's work truck, my favorite pair of Chucks... Are you planning any major purchases or changes to your lifestyle? I like my life the way it is (other than my health, which I cannot do anything about other than take the meds the doctors tell me to take) and I don't like to spend money. However, as I will soon be a Grandma, that's going to be one very big change and a cute little package! What's your take on this 'New Normal' we hear about? What is "normal" exactly? Your normal isn't the same as mine, nor is it the same as the next guy's or gal's. My normal is full of constant physical pain, fearing another seizure happening, and handfuls of medications when I wake and before I go to bed. My normal is working six days a week, cooking dinner at crazy hours of the night when I get home from work, fur clouds and noisy animals, writing, disc golf, and enjoying the outdoors. Yours is probably totally different. As far as the inflation goes, it was predicted and expected. Maybe not to the extent it has grown to, but we all knew it was coming. The fear of getting sick doesn't really affect me (I'm already sick and when God calls me home, I'm ready). Things like the Covid pandemic happen. All you have to do is look back in history to see that. Smallpox, the Black Death, and so many others have historically wiped out whole civilizations. But you see, we're like roaches. There are always survivors to carry on the human race. I personally think that social media and the instant access to "news" via the internet has greatly contributed to the wide-spread fear we still see, two years after it all began. But that's just my opinion... |
| So, the blog prompt is... What do you do to relax? Are you able to have a dedicated family day or day of rest in your home? Share a memory of a peaceful, restorative Sunday from your past. Then finally, tell us... What keeps you up at night? I remember Sundays back when I was a little girl. We'd all get dressed in our nice clothes and go to church. I'd sit through Bible school learning about Jesus and the stories of the Bible, then would go into the main part of the church for services. That was my favorite part of Sundays, sitting there with all the adults, learning more about the Bible, and singing hymns. Growing up, my parents were members of the local Church of Christ, as that's the denomination my Daddy was raised in. That's why, as Daddy told me, we could only have an organ or piano to accompany our singing, unlike other churches who were allowed to have a full band if they wanted. Daddy made the main part of church services fun for me. I remember one particular time, I had brought a Goofy (of Mickey Mouse fame) puppet to church with me and Daddy had taken it away from me when he found it. But, as we were singing "Up From the Grave He Rose," Daddy pulled out the little puppet and made it dance to the hymn words. Every time we would get to the part "Up from the grave..." Daddy would make the puppet come to life and jump up. I must've loved it because the memory is still with me today, however many years later it has been. After church, we would go either eat at a family member's house or go eat at this seafood place my mom liked (she's always loved frog legs). Sometimes, we'd visit one set of my grandparents or the other, or one of my many aunts or uncles. Sundays were a time for worship and a time for family. There was no work on Sundays, only enjoying the ones we love. Of course, we'd do something fun outdoors if the weather allowed as well. But whatever we did, we always did it as a family. My parents have always been the types to put family first, and they instilled those beliefs in me and my brother. They also taught us that family isn't only blood relatives. Close friends can also be considered family if you care about them the same. And you asked what keeps me up at night? Worry. Worry about my daughters who are grown and off on their own, worried if I taught them what they need to know to make it through this life. Worried about finances and my health and the rest of the members of my family. Worry that I might have another turn for the worse with my health just when I've finally gotten to the point where I find myself now. Worry that if I get sick again, I'll lose my job and our finances will worsen even more than they are. Yeah. Worry is definitely the bitch that keeps me up at night. 530 Words |
| Your Muse and Andre have decided to collaborate. They want to write a song together. 7.) Write Their Song – This prompt may be a poetic form). On the day of the recording of their song, Andre and MJ got together in the basement of the Banana Bar, which had been refurbished as a temporary recording studio. They had asked the basement guy to be their sound guy and had recruited Ravyn and Richard ~ Looking for Luck!'s two musicians, Lil' Lime Squeeze and A Guavé Tortuga to sit in as the session musicians for the demo recording. Grumpy insisted on being the duo's agent and enlisted Pubby and Anon-Y-Monkey as his assistants. Andre said to MJ and the gang, "I'm feeling froggy today." "Oh, but you're a monkey!" answered MJ in her typical air-headed fashion. "I know MJ. 'Feeling Froggy' is just a way of saying I'm in a really good mood. It doesn't mean I think I'm a frog!" "Oh! Okay! Umm... Are we ready to do this?" "Let's do it!" exclaimed Andre and they began recording their first and only song, a rock tune inspired by Primus. After the bass intro, Andre began to sing. Andre: "I'm a drunken monkey I drink vodka all day long, play shenanigans on my pals and friends and this is my tag-along" MJ: "I'm just one of those girls who digs the music scene and this drunken monkey he's totally my caffeine." *instrumental* MJ: "He's feeling kinda froggy man, I don't need a shrink he's a vodka drinking monkey and he needs another drink" Andre: "Absolut, with its winter wheat really gets the night a'rolling and that Pincer Shanghai Strength will start me to gamboling." Andre: "I'm a vodka drinking monkey and this is my drinking song I'm a vodka drinking monkey and my thirst is really strong" MJ: "He's not Magilla Gorilla he's not the infamous King Kong he's a vodka drinking monkey and this is his drinking song" *instrumental* Andre and MJ: "Come on all you monkeys and you vodka drinkers too join us in this drinking song you all know what to do. Hold your glasses high above to toast your fellows all then drink down that liquid renown and keep drinking 'till last call" Andre: "I'm a vodka drinking monkey and this is my drinking song I'm a vodka drinking monkey and I'm drinking with the throng" A solo outro played by Ravyn on the bass guitar ended the song. "That was really good, don't ya think?" asked MJ still caught up in the excitement. "I don't know," responded Andre, "I guess we'll just have to wait and see how people respond to it." "Ya mon. I tink it be time fer a smoke." Lil' Lime Squeeze said as he lit up a Cheech and Chong sized doobie. "Sweet!" exclaimed MJ, "I was starting to come down!" "You guys go ahead," replied Andre. "I have a drink at the bar with my name on it." Almost everyone left the basement and went up to the bar, except Ravyn. She continued to sit in the basement playing music on her bass guitar long after everyone else had left, still lost in her love for a good groove. That is, until the basement guy told her it was time she headed up. With music and more in their heads, MJ and Ravyn left the Banana Bar and headed home, satisfied with their first go at being members of a band. |
| Your Muse and Andre have decided to collaborate. They want to write a song together. 6.) Tell us why they decided to collaborate. While at the Blame it on My Muse Awards Banquet, quite a few of the muses were gathered around discussing everything and nothing in particular. During the discussion, MJ discovered that Andre has quite a variety in tastes where music is concerned. So she asked Andre, "Wouldn't it be cool if some of us got together and wrote a song? Maybe even make a music video!" Weeks went by and MJ's mind went on to other things, as it is frequently wont to do. She was hence surprised when Andre approached her one night at the Banana Bar while she and I were there just chilling after a long day of creative madness and asked, "You still want to make a song together?" "What?" MJ queried in that absentminded way she has. "You remember? You said it would be cool for us to get together and write a song..." "Oh yeah!" she exclaimed as the memory came back to her. "I'm still down for it. Who else will be weighing in on it?" "So far," said Andre, "it's just me and you." "Okay! But maybe some of the others would like to join us on this venture. Should we ask them?" "I already have," responded Andre. "I'm waiting for the others to get back with me." "I can't wait! I guess we need to figure out what type of song we want to write and what we want to write it about." "Well, let's start with what we want to write it about and maybe that will help us decide what type of song to write." "Okay. Do you have any idea where to start?" asked MJ. Andre sighs, "I guess we could write it about something we both like." "Oh oh! I like flowers!" she exclaimed. Andre merely grunted. MJ's happy go lucky attitude fell just a bit and she said, "Well, maybe we should find something we can both agree on. I know! We can both write lists of things we like that we might be able to make a song about and then see if anything from our lists match!" So that's exactly what they did. It only took Andre a couple of minutes to write his Like List and then he sat for a bit waiting for MJ to finish hers as well. He waited and waited, and the waiting made him thirsty. Deciding that she would be a while, Andre swung over to the bar and grabbed a couple of glasses and a bottle of his favorite vodka. Andre poured himself a glass then carried his drink, the empty glass, and the bottle of vodka back to the table where MJ was doggedly writing her list. Andre glanced over, it looked like MJ was already writing on the back of her page. "You want a drink?" Andre asked her. MJ looked up from her list and noticed Andre standing there with a glass of vodka in his hand. "Sure!" she replied then quickly bent her head to continue writing. She wrote something in very large letters and circled it. "Okay, I think I'm finished now. Let's have that drink before we look at our lists." Andre poured MJ a glass of vodka and continued to drink his own. MJ took a big swig and grimaced from the dryness of the liquor as it hit the back of her throat. "Man, this is really good," she said wistfully, then more businesslike said, "Now, let's compare our lists." They put their lists in the middle of the table where they both could see each of them. Since there were fewer ideas on Andre's list, each one was compared to MJ's list and then crossed out if it was not also on MJ's. A few entries down, Andre had written "Vodka" scanning the back of MJ's list, Andre finally found a match, so he circled vodka. This process went on a while longer with no more matches found down most of Andre's list. Almost at the end of Andre's list, he had written, "monkeys." (Another no brainer, I know) "Oh! here's another one!" MJ excitedly said as she pointed at his entry and then pointed to the very last thing she had written on her list. "I like monkeys too!" It turned out that there weren't any more in common between the two lists. But they had a place to start at least. "So, vodka and monkeys," said Andre, "what can we write about vodka or monkeys that would make a good song?" "Maybe we can write about vodka drinking monkeys?" posed MJ, her voice full of uncertainty. "I think we have a winner!" said Andre. "Let's make a toast. To Vodka Drinking Monkeys!" "To Vodka Drinking Monkeys!" MJ downed the rest of her vodka in one big swallow. "But hey, Andre? Can we figure out the kind of music for our song tomorrow? I'm already gonna have trouble making it home as it is. I'll probably get lost." "Sure MJ. We'll pick up from right here tomorrow. You need me to call you a cab or anything?" "Nope. I think I'll walk it. It's a really nice night out tonight." W/C 886 |
| When Andre was just a little monkey, his parents hired the finest teachers. 4.) With what great musician did Andre study? As a little shite, Andre showed an interest in music that his parents were all too happy to encourage. His mother, a gifted musician in her own right, was ecstatic at the thought that her son was following in her footsteps and had taken a shining to the art. His mother and father hired the best teachers they could find in order to help Andre on his way to stardom as well. They hired Mitch Mitchell, percussionist for the Jimi Hendrix experience, to teach him the different percussion instruments and soon Andre was playing the cowbell good enough to rival his teacher. A quick study, Andre was soon playing the cowbell parts in songs like Low Rider, Don't Fear the Reaper, and Stone Free. Thomas "Papa Dee" Allen, percussionist for the band War, actually asked to sit in for a session with the percussion prodigy. Andre didn't just show promise in the cowbell, however. Andre was quickly able to play any percussion instrument that Mitch set in front of the young monkey. His thirst to learn music didn't end with percussion either. At the first signs of interest in stringed instruments, his father also hired the classical guitarist Andrés Segovia to teach his young son to play guitar. Andre's long fingers were perfect for fingering the frets and his ability to learn music allowed him to quickly learn classical guitar. But, due to his odd body proportions, he was unable to hold normal guitars while standing. As that was the case, Segovia taught Andre on the lute, sitar, and the ukulele. Andre's love of music and learning didn't stop there either. He parents hired professional artists to teach Andre to play the flute and tuba, and even brought in Neil Young himself to teach Andre to play the harmonica. When he wanted to learn the kazoo, his mother called in a favor and brought in a professional kazoo player to teach her son the intricacies of the kazoo. Andre made his parents proud. Then again, they have never gone to see him perform at any of the rock concerts in which he played. Now, with his newfound interest in the accordion, he's planning on hiring William Schimmel's top student from the Juilliard school of music to teach him the tenets of accordion play. I wonder what instrument will tickle his fancy next. The spoons maybe? W/C 416 |
| Andre once played with (your choice of the artist, this can be a fictional or actual artist). 3.) Andre got fired. Why? One night, I was sitting at the Banana Bar, drinking away my anger at being fired from my job because of a very public mental breakdown. The embarrassment at being escorted out of the building and off the property was still fresh in my mind. Silent and sullen, I sat in a corner downing Crown and RC Cola like it was water. I was pissed at the world and didn't want to talk to anyone but Lilli ☕, and only then to request another drink. I'm pretty sure that everyone in the bar could feel the angry vibes emanating from me and kept their distance to keep the peace. I wasn't looking for a fight, but I damned sure would have thrown down if somebody even looked at me wrong. As I finished yet another glass, I signaled Lilli over. "I want a Crown and RC, this time, hold the RC. No, wait. Just bring me a bottle of top shelf vodka. These sissy drinks aren't helping at all," I asked her when she came over to the table. Sitting in my corner, I viewed the goings-on in the Banana Bar as if I were looking into a portal to a world that I could never be a part of. Lilli brought over the vodka and two glasses. "Wha-?" I begin to ask but just then, Andre swung over and took a seat opposite me. Lilli smiled consolingly at me, filled both glasses with vodka, said "Here ya go," and walked off to help another customer, leaving the bottle on the table. Andre took a big swig from his glass and said, "Looks like you've had a pretty tough day." "Tough doesn't even begin to describe it," I grumble to him. "So, tell me what happened." I gulp down half of my drink before I start telling him my story. The story took long enough for us to finish the bottle and when it was empty, Andre signaled Lilli over to bring another one. "Don't worry, I'll pay for that one too," I said. "Nah. this one is on the house. Now, you were saying you told your boss just where she could shove her suggestions and demands..." "Yeah. I think she was just looking for something to fire me for - so I gave her a reason. And she told the sheriffs she was afraid I'd hurt her or someone else. Shit! I just wanted to be left alone to do my job." Andre was having a hard time not cracking a smile. "Calm down. Let me tell you the story about the time I was fired." He paused to take a drink of his vodka and light a cigar. "Now, you've been here enough times to know that I've played with some really great bands, right?" I shake my head yes. "What most people don't know, though is that I was actually supposed to sit in with the Traveling Wilburys back in 1988. I was the original drummer for the band. We were a close-knit group and were always having a great time. They were pretty cool back in the day, you know? And they all encouraged my high jinks. I was even the inspiration for Bob Dylan and Tom Petty when they were writing "Tweeter and the Monkey Man," but they'll deny that now. They all have ever since the split." He takes a big puff from his cigar and exhales cloud of smoke than takes a large swig of vodka. "I was wilder back in my youth, more primal. I'd get drunk and swing from the chandeliers most nights just because I could. And all the girls loved me. I had it all: personality, charm, money, talent, and of course these good looks. Everything was going great until I really tied one on one day and never made it to the gig that night. A couple days later, I finally made it back for practice. Tom, Jeff, and George weren't too happy about it, Bob said, 'Chill out. You guys have been there. Let the monkey have a good time.' But it was three to one and so I was told to pack up my drums and go. You know what that did? It really pissed me off. I grabbed Tom's pretty yellow hair and pulled hard as I could, ripping out a handful. And I slapped him across the face, knocking him to the floor and wailing on him with all four limbs. I bit Jeff in the leg when he came to pull me off Tom too. I didn't stop my frenzy until George shot me with a tranquilizer. I woke up in a 4 ft by 4 ft cage like a wild animal. Bob was sitting next to the cage and said, 'Man, you really did it this time. I don't think they're going to let you back in the band after that one.' But since I was under contract, they had to pay me off if they wanted to fire me. I got a bunch of bananas to go my own way, and a whole lot of money too. That's how I got the dough to pay for this island and the bad ass bar you're sitting in right now." We shared a couple more glasses of vodka in silence then Andre said, "See life isn't as bad as you thought, is it?" "Nah, thanks Andre." I say before my head hit the table as I passed out. I woke the next morning at sunrise on the beach, covered in sand and one hell of a hangover. Thanks again Andre...  W/C 958 |
| Andre has very eclectic musical tastes, but he likes one genre more than others. 2.) What is Andre’s favorite genre? Does he have a favorite artist, Who and why? While Andre does love a variety of music, he really loves the polka. Perhaps this is due to his enduring fascination with the accordion, perhaps the swing of the beat speaks to his primal soul, or maybe it's because it ain't a polka without some good stout drinks. Whatever the case, polka is his thing. Weird, right? But, then again, who is to say what is normal for a vodka guzzling, bar owning, mischief making monkey?! Andre has been all over the world, playing with great artists (see: "Melodious Monk(ey)" ) and while traveling, he was able to see performances by many bands he wouldn't have otherwise. While in Holland, he was introduced to the Polka by a band called the Hubn Bubn Polka Band . Their music was so lively and fun! Just the thing for a drunken monkey, surely. And Polka showcases everyone's musical talents, with every instrument having their turn in the spotlight on different songs. There were songs for brass, songs where the guitar stood out , and songs where the accordion , his favorite stole the show. The music was just so jolly, how could any monkey not enjoy it! It just begged for the listener to hop and twirl around. Now, maybe he wouldn't have enjoyed it so much if the band members weren't so talented and the band hadn't looked like they were having so much fun playing their music. I don't think even Andre can tell you exactly why he loves the Polka so much, but he does. Now, grab yourself a vodka or spiked beverage of your choice, drink it down, and join us in the Polka. W/C 306 |
| Andre is a very accomplished musician. 1.) What instrument does Andre play, why, and with who has he performed? Andre is a multi-instrumental virtuoso, able to play stringed, percussion, and wind instruments. He is quite skilled with the ukulele, cowbell, triangle, harmonica, hand drums, tuba, and flute, but he is absolutely ingenious with both the kazoo and the jug. If you're lucky, you might even be at the Banana Bar when Andre gets on stage for a drunken jam session. Andre comes from a long line of gifted primates, in fact, it was his mother who first introduced him to music. He started out playing the cowbell and soon, his interest in music blossomed into rhapsody for a raucous refrain. The list of instruments he could play increased by leaps and bounds. It was during this time that Andre discovered the kazoo. He was delighted at the sounds he created on that first time he blew through the small oddly shaped plastic instrument. He tooted his horn so much in fact that all of his friends and family considered stuffing cotton in their ears! He even joined an All-Kazoo band and soon after was awarded first chair. The kazoo is cool and all, but no bands were looking for kazoo players, so Andre decided to strengthen his skills in percussion. Playing the hand drum, he shared the stage with stars like Bob Marley , bands like The Grateful Dead and Phish . After the set one particularly successful night, Andre was sitting around the bonfire just drinking and chilling with the guys. He had been drinking on a gallon jug of vodka when an impromptu jam began. Playing the hand drums can be a thirst inducing activity. Andre reached down to grab a swig and discovered the jug was empty. When he sighed, the most heavenly music emanated from the jug. Eureka! A new instrument! Being a quick study, Andre learned that jug lickety-split. Soon, word got out and the Finnish band Steve 'n' Seagulls invited Andre to play a few stops on their tour with them. It was only after playing a few sets with Steve 'n' Seagulls that Andre saw the potential of the squeeze box. So now, Andre is braving new vines and has set his mind on teaching himself to play the accordion...W/C - 388 |
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