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 Items to fit into your overhead compartment |
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Carrion Luggage  Native to the Americas, the turkey vulture (Cathartes aura) travels widely in search of sustenance. While usually foraging alone, it relies on other individuals of its species for companionship and mutual protection. Sometimes misunderstood, sometimes feared, sometimes shunned, it nevertheless performs an important role in the ecosystem. This scavenger bird is a marvel of efficiency. Rather than expend energy flapping its wings, it instead locates uplifting columns of air, and spirals within them in order to glide to greater heights. This behavior has been mistaken for opportunism, interpreted as if it is circling doomed terrestrial animals destined to be its next meal. In truth, the vulture takes advantage of these thermals to gain the altitude needed glide longer distances, flying not out of necessity, but for the joy of it. It also avoids the exertion necessary to capture live prey, preferring instead to feast upon that which is already dead. In this behavior, it resembles many humans. It is not what most of us would consider to be a pretty bird. While its habits are often off-putting, or even disgusting, to members of more fastidious species, the turkey vulture helps to keep the environment from being clogged with detritus. Hence its Latin binomial, which translates to English as "golden purifier." I rarely know where the winds will take me next, or what I might find there. The journey is the destination. |
| Just in case anyone can still afford to go out to eat, here's a "helpful" article from bon appétit: All Your Restaurant Etiquette Questions, Answered  Is it okay to ask for a different table? How do you split the bill with friends? Our industry pro weighs in. On any given night at your local watering hole or restaurant, bartenders are doing double time, dispensing drinks and life lessons from behind the bar. Which is why we always tip bartenders. Do I have to wait for everyone else’s food to arrive before cutting into my own plate? Yes? No. Well, depending on what you mean by "have to." No one's going to fine you for it. The Food Police aren't going to swoop in and drag you off in handcuffs to Kale Jail. It's rude, though. Do you tip on the total price of the bill if you order a bottle of wine? Yes. Next question. Just kidding. There is a lot more nuance here. No, there really isn't that much nuance. The article makes an argument based on server expertise. I'd prefer to see tipping go away entirely, as I've talked about many times, but as long as it's a thing, yes, if you order a $10 hamburger and a $190 bottle of wine (hey, don't judge me), you tip based on $200. There is one exception I can think of, but it's kind of an edge case. My favorite local brewpub will put any to-go beers on your tab, for the convenience of only having to pay once. So, I might get, say, a $10 burger and a $6 beer to eat there, and then a couple of 4-packs at, say, $20 each. I tip on the "service" portion, $16. Basically, if you consume it at the table, it's tipped. If I don’t like a table, is it okay to ask for a different location? Yes. In my nearly two decades of experience working in hospitality, I’ve never observed a conspiracy to give people the worst tables possible just for fun. You work in NYC. Every table is the worst possible table. If there’s a social media influencer disrupting the meal with lights, cameras, and ruckus, who should speak up, the staff or the diner? Wrong question. The correct question is, "Where's the next nearest restaurant?" There's more at the link, but I feel like they left out the most important questions and answers, to wit: Q: What's the best way to get the restaurant to let my dog in? A: Go fuck yourself. (Exception: legitimate service animals) Q: There are kids running around. Do I tell the staff or the parents? A: Neither. Surreptitiously pass the kids some chocolate-covered espresso beans. Q: What's the best way to make my date pay for everything? A: Put out at the table. Q: I'm at one of those weird hipster beer places and they won't serve me a Michelob Ultra! How can this be? A: Good for them. Q: How can I get my meal comped? A: Spend a few hours washing dishes in the kitchen. Q: Could you turn up the volume on the Lakers game? A: No. I should write an advice column. |
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