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Okay, due to a not so popular demand, I thought I'd share another of my favorite jokes. A New Bell Ringer for Notre Dame Sadly, there came a time when Quasdimodo could no longer ring the bells of Notre Dame. He had done such a maginificent job of ringing them; whenever he had pulled mightily on the ropes to the belfry, the bells had not sounded like ‘just bells’. They had pealed their notes beautifully, bringing smiles to everyone who heard their soothing notes. The Bishop was determined to find a suitable replacement for Quasimodo, and let it be known far and wide that on the Monday following the Easter Mass that he would be holding auditions to find a suitable replacement for his beloved Quasimodo. For the most part, the auditions were a dismal failure. It seemed that no one could pull the ropes and make the bells chime melodiously. Time after time, the Bishop had to send a candidate away after hearing just one peal from the bells. A couple were given a second chance at it, but eventually, every one of them was sent home. At the end of the long day, a man with no arms came to the bell tower and said, “I love the notes Quasimodo could produce with the bells, I’ve watched him closely, and I’m confident I can do the same.” The Bishop replied, “But sir, you have no arms, how will you possibly ring the bells?” The armless man replied, “Come with me to the top of the tower, I’ll show you.” They climbed to the top of the tower, where the Bishop said, “I still don’t understand how you plan on ringing the bells.” The man replied, “Watch!” Having said that, the man charged towards the bells, and at the last second lowered his head to head-butt the bells. Beautiful music rang out! The Bishop clapped his hands in joy, laughing in happiness because he knew he’d found Quasimodo’s replacement. The man charged again, and more beautiful music rang out. The Bishop almost fainted from listening to the beautiful tones of the bells. One more time the man charged. But this time, his feet got tangled in the ropes lying near the bells, and he tripped and went over the sidewall, plummeting to the ground far below. The Bishop was beside himself, and ran down to provide relief to the dying man. Sobbing hysterically, he could only moan, “No, no! You can’t die!” One of his assistants tentatively approached and asked, “Sire, who is this man who rang Notre Dame’s bells so beautifully?” The Bishop replied. > > > “I don’t know his name….. But his face sure rings a bell.” The following day, the Bishop was once again trying to find a suitable replacement for Quasimodo. Once again, he listened to tones that were just so ‘blah’ when the bells rang. At the end of the day, a very over-weight man approached the Bishop. “Sire, that was my brother who plunged to his death yesterday. I too know how to ring the bells as Quasimodo did, and would love to do it for both Quasimodo and my poor brother. The Bishop looked at him and said, “No offense kind sir, but look at you! You are so overweight that you can barely walk! Even if you can get beautiful tones and music from them, how will you possibly find the energy to ring the bells for a long time?” The man replied, “I know I can do it. I have to, for my brother.” Having said that, the man shuffled over to the ropes, reached as high as he could, and gave a mighty tug. Beautiful music once again rang from the bells, and the Bishop was beside himself with joy once more. Just as he thought all was well, the man gave a second pull on the ropes, clutched his heart, and collapsed to the floor. The Bishop ran to his side and cradled his head in his arms sobbing and moaning, “No, not again! Not a second time!” His assistant came up behind him and quietly asked, “Sire, who is this man who gave a mighty tug on the ropes just now?” The Bishop looked up at him through his tear stained eyes and said, > > > “I don’t know. But he’s a dead ringer for his brother!” Jim Dorrell{/sig} |
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