Here is what the 'remarkably well written considering it looked rushed' note said
Dear reader.
By reading this document you have agreed to be placed under a magically binding contract. By doing so you have agreed to the following terms.
All mentions to the reader will be noted as (Party A)
All mentions to the the creator of this contract and his/her affiliates will be noted as (Party B)
(1.) (Party A) will not leave the town they are currently in unless given permission to do so by (party B). Leaving without permission will count as a breach of contract for every 10 feet taken outside of the town's border
(2.) (Party A) will now have constant unending hunger that will not disipear regardless of any amount consumed. The hunger of (Party A) will be controlled completly by (Party B) and can be increased decreased or removed at their leisure
(3.) (Party A) Cannot lose any weight whatsoever regardless of diet or excercise. Any actual attempt to lose weight by (Party A) through excercise will be a breach of contract and any weight that would have been lost normally will instead become weight gained
(4.) (Party A) Cannot stop eating for any longer than 20 minutes. Amount eaten is not set however failure to eat at all will be a breach of contract plus an additional breach for every 10 minutes afterwards until (Party A) resumes eating
(5.) The metabolism of (party A) will now become non existant allowing all eaten to be converted completly into fat.
(6.) Any food eaten by (party A) will become at minimum 10 times higher in fat content than normal .
(7.) (Party A) Will not take any negative action whatsoever against (Party B). Ignoring this condition will be a breach of contract per action taken
(8.) (Party A) Will not attempt to contact anyone outside of the town. Attempting todo so will be a breach of contract.
(9.) (Party A) will forget reading this contract the moment they finish.
Any breach of contract will result in an immediate weight increase of 50 pounds.
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