"Um, excuse me," you say, cracking your door open slightly. "Hi. Um, this may sound kinda weird, but..."
The girl regards you mildly and shakes her head. "Freshmen..."
"Is it that obvious?"
"Listen, honey, there's only two types of girls who can be found on campus on the day the frats perform their annual girl-stripping: naked freshmen and sorority sisters." She thumbs her sweater, indicating a set of greek letters you don't recognise.
"They don't strip sororities?"
"Nope. See, we pay protection to the frats with 'Pledge-A-Day' nudie calenders. Care to rush? We could use a November 23rd."
"No, thanks, I just want to get back to my room with what's left of my dignity. Could you spare me your sweater?"
"Hell, no. This is all I've got to denote me as a sister. Those frats got to see me naked on July 16th 2004, and I'm not eager to let 'em see me naked again."
"How 'bout your shirt, then?"
She scoffs. "Is there some place you plan to store your fat while you wear it? Because otherwise I don't think it'll fit you."
"Hey, I'm not that big!"
"You, sister, are what we on the Greek Row call a Theta Upsilon Beta."
"...A what?"
"T-U-B. A Tub."
"My weight is healthy and attractive!"
"Tell ya what: I'll go find you a towel if you let me poke your belly and go 'hoo-hoo!'"
That tears it. Her smug face vanishes quickly as you throw open your door and leap at her, grabbing her firmly by the sweater. With every enraged muscle in your naked body you attempt to wrest the garment from the girl. She fights back admirably and you engage in a brief tug of war before a loud ripping sound is heard between you. You both freeze and look down. You find that you have torn a scrap of the sweater off, the scrap bearing the Greek letters.
"Give 'em back," demands the girl.
You take one look at her, then turn and fling the letters out an open window. The girl watches with open mouthed horror as you do so. Outside you bathroom door you can hear somebody stalking through the hallway chanting "Heeeeere, ladies, ladies, ladies!"
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