You feel like it would be weird to be younger than your kids, and try ‘29’. You get a warning message, ‘Familial relationship auto-adjustments exceeded caution settings. Inspection advised.’ You close the message and admire your younger self in the mirror. Wow. You really are kind of a MILF now.
You want to start tinkering with other stuff right away, but that warning message bothers you, so you go looking for something to explain them to you.
You’re immediately stunned to see that your children have also lost years. Stacy is now only a few months younger than you (and really looking good in her twenties again, just like you remember) but that makes you wonder, how do you and Stacy still have children?
You discover first that you’re no longer married to her, which is a shock, but you feel stupid for not realizing it. (No gay marriage in THIS ‘red state’ for sure!) but you have been in a (mostly) monogamous sexual relationship with her since High School. It looks like it actually began in your freshman year now, instead of you getting your foolish ass tangled up with a cute freshman cheerleader in your senior year. The program pushed it back all the way to the first day you could possibly have met her, which was in freshman orientation. You find it a little amusing that apparently these two little Lesbos hooked up even before their first day of school, but that’s apparently now the ‘how I met your mother’ story goes now. But the age she was for her pregnancies are the same as the old Stacy. Got pregnant at sixteen, then added kids at eighteen and twenty. The only difference is, she didn't get married with the daddy of the first kid.
So then, where did the kids come from? To your embarrassment, the program can actually list out every affair you’ve both had. You recognize most of the names on your side; all your previous conquests having now tried the bi-curious thing. You’re a little shocked to see Stacy has had way more flings than you, and with both sexes. But you seem to already know about them in this life, as information starts filtering into your mind from the “memory” of your new self. You’ve allowed each other full permission to play outside since day one, and since she’s bisexual, she ended up pregnant a few times along the way.
It’s weird. You suspect that the program didn’t just create these flings, that she really had been fooling around on you that much, but you discover you’re okay with it. You have a hunch that the program had to change the attitudes of both Stacy and yourself so that she could get pregnant three times without breaking up your relationship.
When you get to the end of the list, you actually blush... did your male self blush, you wonder?... when you see your most recent fling, the nineteen year old blond at the bar... is still an active relationship now. Then you giggle when you notice that the same girl is listed with Stacy! Was that happening before the changes? Were you two doing the same girl?
Your mother and father would have to have been pretty old when they had you, but you find the computer allowed it anyway. Mom now had her first kid when she was 41... and to your surprise, instead of leaving your sister her previous age of 39, she’s been dropped to 27, and so Mom also had a kid at 43!
“Damn,” you giggle quietly, “You’re a tough lady, Mom.”
Your sister has no family of her own to adjust. You’ve always thought maybe she wasn’t straight, and from rummaging around with Stacy you’re learned how to check. You did not expect to find she’s Bi... but then you see she has some kind of bad hangup about men. It doesn’t take you very long to learn about the rape that caused it.
Your blood running a little cold, you check to see if it’s possible to have the bastard die before he ever touched her. It takes some detective work in the computer, but you find out who he is, that he’s raped a dozen more since your sister and several prior, and never got caught, and that you can make his death date the day before his first rape.
With one click, your sister suddenly acquires a husband and two kids. You didn't arrange for them; it's just what happened by offing a rapist. Probably a bunch of other stories change too. Mission accomplished, you think with satisfaction.
Looking at your own family, though. The kids are once again not yet in high school, aged thirteen, eleven, and nine. Do you really want to go through all that puberty again?
It wouldn’t be bad giving that boy another chance to get things right, but the idea of dealing with kids that young again just won’t fly.
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