This choice: You dont know a word of Spanish!! • Go Back...Chapter #5Lost in translation by: chaos   Okay, recap. You’ve woken up from a booze related coma to find yourself in Mexico, with a hot Senorita, who’s eyeing you like a piece of candy. You have no idea how you got here and how to get home, and if that isn’t bad enough, you speak as much Mexican as you do klingon.
“I am soooooo fucked,” you groan to yourself as the mysterious foreign woman whose cleavage you woke up in looks at you curiously. Holding your face in your hands, you try to figure out what to do first. It’s obvious that if you’re ever going to get back to your home, you’re going to need help. Getting from your front door to the sidewalk can be dangerous at time, but a trip from Mexico back into the United Sates was going to be near impossible. You might as well be on Mars because getting home was going to be just as difficult as getting back from the red planet.
“¿Es usted pequeño hombre aceptable?” You look up at your host, who has brought you closer to her face. As you look at her, you can’t help but feel slightly better hat you have such a beautiful woman to keep you company. You don’t know how you met, or even how you ended up between her knockers. All you know is she’s here and she’s your only hope of getting back home. First things first, getting past the language barrier.
“What is your name!” You shout at her, falling back on the old American stereotype that if you scream it loud enough, they’ll understand what you’re saying. The girl tilts her head slightly and stares at you. She probably thinks that you speaking some kind of tiny person language that only people your size know.
“¿Qué?” Sighing, you go back to the drawing board. She doesn’t know what you’re saying and even if you crawl into her ear and scream it directly into her eardrum, she still wont get it. You need to use the oldest form of communication that was used when your ancestors first came to America. You need to use charades.
“Do you…” stopping, you point towards the Senorita’s pretty face, then continue. “…. Know…” Thrusting your finger at her skull. “…How I….” Know you point at yourself. “…Got between your big, exquisite tits.” You point at her chest this time. You use crude language because she doesn’t know what your saying. You can tell her that you want to hump her nipple and she’d just smile at you with that distant look in her eyes.
The Senorita’s eyes light up, as though she can finally understand you. Her lips start moving, but you ignore that and focus on her hands. She points to the ground first, then you, probably telling you where she found you. Her hand rises and points at a run down house further down the street. She’s ether pointing to where she lives or where she’s taking you, possibly both. Then she does something that sends a chill down your spine, not from fear, but from shock of what it could mean and what it means you missed. Her hand pats her crotch and she keeps saying, ‘zambullidor del gatito! zambullidor del gatito!’ This means nothing to you, but the blush on her tanned face tells you it’s something that made her very, very happy.
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