"HAHA! You'll be Eva Longoria! Good luck!" the director said with a smirk.
"That chick from Desperate Housewives?" you inquired.
"The very same! Now hurry up,Mr. Sandler doesn't have all day to make shitty rom-coms! Actually,he does! But hurry up regardless!" the director ordered.
You walk into a room with a sticker that says "Eva's Room" so you assume it must be Longoria's dressing room. You find a nearby chair and sit to muster enough strength to become the former Mrs.Tony Parker. After noticing long brown hair and perky bosoms in front of you,you know it worked. You search for the dress the director told you about. You then find a sultry red dress and matching ruby 3 inch heels beneath it. After taking off your interview attire,you take a long,hard look in the mirror and say "WOW" You then put on the sexy number and walk out to the set. "IM READY FOR MY CLOSEUP!" you said. The director walks to up and says "Okay "Eva". In this scene,Adam allows you take out all your frustration about his recent box office performance on his body. You are going to repeatedly kick Adam as many times in the dick and nuts until you hear me shout cut. Got it?" the director says. Unable to get the shitpile that is Grown Ups 2 out of your brain,you're totally up for it. "Got it,Steve!" you say as Eva. "Steven,are you sure its ok for me to not be wearing a cup in this scene?" Adam asks. "It's totally okay! Now quit being a little bitch!" the director yells. "Steven Spielberg's PETRADOXIN Take One!" a crew member announces. "Eva,it's the only way." Adam recites. "Are you sure,Adam? I mean your recent films have been shit but okay. Here goes!" you yell. Almost immediately,you proceed to kick Adam Sandler's testicles nonstop. With each kick,you mentally sound off a bad Sandler film. "Little Nicky! Jack & Jill! That's My Boy!" you mentally note. The assault on Sandler's ballsack start to create a very audible CRAACK! sound effect. This entertains you even more. Steven yells cut right before Adam starts to blow chunks. He then yells "Eva! Now a knee!" "Wait a minute! That's not in th--" Before he could finish his statement,you grab his shoulders and ram your chisled knee into his already sore babymakers. After this,he falls to the floor and pukes all over himself. "Great job,Eva!" Steven compliments. "Thanks for the opportunity,Steven!" You turn back and see a sad-looking Adam Sandler on the floor,writhing in pain. One part of you is glad you made him pay for his new shitty releases and wants to walk away from him . Another part of you thinks you went too far and wants you to help him out. PICK ONE.
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