The fingers that close around you are callous, bulky and strong. The face that looms in the air over your head is handsome and square, with the sort of all-American good looks that suit only giant teddy-bear heartthrobs and cocky, sadistic jocks. Which variety of stunningly handsome your new owner Tim Tebow is, you're about to find out.
"Awesome," He repeats to himself as he turns you over in his strong hands. The room that spins around you is a neat, spacious living room with the blinds and curtains drawn at every window. Behind them, the sun shines brightly. The smell of sweat dominates the room, and you realise that the reason has been obvious all along: Tim is sitting on his couch wearing his famous jersey and a sheen of sweat on his face. He must have just gotten home from practice.
"So, are you a good little pet?" He drawls in his deep voice, smiling a crooked cowboy smile. He places you on his wooden coffee table and tests out his query before you have time to answer. "Bow." His voice grumbles in an assertive baritone.
But you're still disoriented, too disoriented to process the command. All you can do is stare at the massive, tree-trunk finger pointing down at you and try to grapple with the fact that this man owns you. This huge athlete, who could bring a regular-size man to his knees with that assertive attitude, has your life in his hands. And apparently you're not making a good first impression.
Before you realise that you've disobeyed an order, Tim's broad palm hovers over you and thumps down on your back, forcing you to your hands and knees. "Bad boy." Tebow says in a disappointed voice. "You didn't listen to your master. Now, listen. And show me you understand."
Tim shuffles in his seat, adjusting for your next obedience exercise. This time, when he tells you to bow down, it's not to your master in general but to his...
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