"That vile, cowardly, poodle-nuzzling traitor!" Thulka fumed. "I'll stomp her flat! I'll smash her head in!"
Abernathy sat quietly in the armchair, his toes pulled back out of range of the ogresses' massive clodhoppers. She shouldn't be able to stomp his toes, even by accident, but he couldn't help it--she was intimidating.
"I'm afraid, a-a-as I said, you won't be able to hurt her."
Thulka grinned cannily. "I can if you order me to. Right?"
"Yes, well, ah," Abernathy mopped his forehead, "I'm afraid I'll simply have to refuse."
Thulka snarled, raised a fist, and put it down again, fuming. "Damn this spell! If it were up to me, all you magic slingers would be strung up like hams and smoked in your own juices!"
"Well, I'm not exactly wild about this mission myself, b-but if we just get it over with--"
"Not until I get my revenge on this backstabbing slattern," Thulka said. "One way or the other."
"But you can't fight her! You just can't!" Abernathy protested.
"Then, I don't know, magic her!" Thulka snapped. "At least that's something."
"I--I don't think they would want me to--"
"I'm not leaving town until the wench pays, not even if I get so hungry I eat this inn down around my ears!"
"W-well, there is one thing I could do, I suppose," Abernathy said. "I could cast a low level Fames Gastros on one of her possessions; a pillow, maybe, or a hand mirror. Something she would spend a lot of time around. It won't be very noticeable magic, but after a few days of that she'll be eating her own inn down around herself."
"I suppose it will have to do for now," Thulka spat. "And may the greedy little harlot be as big as an inn herself by the time we return!"
"Ehreh, yes, that is a possibility," Abernathy said. "Now. About this mission..."
"Slaughter a bunch of giants, rescue some doily-sniffing little piece of fluff, drag her back to the castle, get paid," Thulka grunted. "Least it's straightforward."
"Ah, b-but that's just it--it's not, I'm afraid. There are a number of complications which make the situation more complex than a simple smash-and-rescue. I've been looking over the briefing and, according to this--"
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