“If you were someone else, you’d be pissed I used you.”
You’re sober and relieved, but still shocked. Ashton holds no grudge with you for wearing his skin, take his car for a ride, then bang his girlfriend (or rather, your girlfriend inside her). You strongly suspect he can't hold a grudge at all.
“It didn’t feel any different than when I black out after smoking too much weed,” he replies. He seems sober (you don’t know him long enough to tell) and nonplussed, despite the revelation. “Say - what happened to the other cheerleaders?”
You roll your eyes and grunt. “Apparently it was a stupid prank pulled by Jimmy.” You notice his confusion, realizing he probably knows more than one Jimmy. “Uh, my friend. The one I just told you about.”
“Oh, the prankster guy!” He smiles as he finally recognizes them, but it’s very brief. “Well, that wasn’t very nice.”
“I thought he was gonna use another of these pens on them.”
“There are more than one!?”
“I dunno... I just overheard them planning the thing, and it sounded like they had one.”
He leans close, utterly shocked. “But what if they did have another?”
“Not my problem. If Jimmy has it, he’ll show me one of these days.”
“Yeah, I guess so...” He leans back, resuming his relaxing mood. “How did it feel, man?”
“Not so good. More like a nightmare.”
“Couldn’t be so bad that you did it twice.”
You cock your head at him, confused. “What’re you talking about?”
“Putting me on, man! What were you talking about?”
“Getting put on,” you rebut.
“Ah, I see...” He stands up, moving towards a corner of the room hidden by the stairs. You stand up, noticing he’s looking at a tall mirror. “I mean – I would’ve felt bad if you said looking like me and having sex with my girl was a nightmare to you.”
“You’re not weirded out by that?”
“Was it really that bad to you?”
You squirm. “Uh, yeah... I felt like something was crawling inside me.”
He shudders. “Yeah. One day, I got such a bad trip, I thought roaches and spiders and ants were crawling on me. By the way – why didn’t you tell me you never did weed in your life, man? You should’ve told me – first time bad trips are horrible, man!”
Is he for real? You think to yourself. I thought it was obvious! “I told you I didn’t smoke!”
“Not everyone that uses weed smokes it, man. Some like edibles. I thought you were into edibles, so I offered you Ally’s brownies.”
“I don’t even know what edibles are!”
“Oh...” He smacks his face, hard, and grunts. “Sorry, man. I thought you were cool with this – y'know, hanging with me and all. Most people hang with me ‘cos I can get them some.” He sits on the bed, devastated. “Shit, man. It was my fault. I should’ve told you – I thought everyone knew what an edible is! Those hit harder on people who haven’t smoked before.”
“Well,” you say, trying to humor him. “I can take that off my bucket list.”
“You don’t get it, man. First-timers need to get guided. Like, get ‘em into a slow dose, tell them to eat ‘em slow, let the feeling sink in...” He groans, smacking his head again. “I’m such a doofus.”
“I should’ve told you I don’t... Well, that I didn’t use weed. I’m also at fault.”
“Yeah, but I wasn’t clear with you.” He looks at you, pained, and you realize he’s truly wracked by guilt. “It’s like this question. You thought it was about the trip, but I was askin’ how it felt to wear me. Next time, I’m gonna be as clear with you as I can.”
“Uh...” You flinch, witnessing his gentility with every passing second. “Well, I... I appreciate it. And... I guess I never answered that question, right?”
“Yup. You didn’t.”
You chuckle. You can’t believe he’s genuinely interested. “Well... I know my girlfriend liked it.”
“Yeah, but I was askin’ if you liked it.” He stands to the mirror, rubbing his torso. “I mean – I know some people who tell me ‘you’re lucky you’re hot’. I figure, ‘well, maybe if they looked like me, they’d understand it’s not how you look – it's how you treat ‘em’.”
“Well, it’s definitely easy when you have a pecker as big as yours.” You must still have something in your system, as you caught that way too late. Yet, his hilarious reaction seems devoid of malice.
“Dude, did you like having a huge dong?”
“I dunno. It’s... weird. I kinda felt... strong.”
“I get you, man. And how about Ally? Did your girlfriend liked being her?”
That’s even more bizarre than the previous question. Considering she’s the one who suggested the switch, the act and looking for them, you have a pretty decent idea about her answer. “Yeah. I think she did.”
“Cool...” He shakes, stunned, as he recalls something. “Ally should know this. She should be getting out of her shift right about now.”
“Wait,” you warn him. “What if she doesn’t take it well?”
“She’ll take it well,” he claims. He checks his phone, then gasps. “Shit! She must be angry!” He grabs his underwear, shoving it as quick as possible. “Listen - I’m gonna grab somethin’ to eat on the way! I’ll pay! Promise!”
“Why can’t I go with you?”
“I wanna hang with you a bit more, man!” He almost falls as he’s replacing his jeans, but he ends on one of the couch seats. “Oof! Anyways, wait for me here. You’ll be safe.”
As he buttons his jeans, he dashes upstairs, leaving you in the dust. You can’t go away, since your clothes are upstairs. You’ll have to wait until he arrives, which means dealing with a potentially scorned woman. And as the saying goes...
--
To your fortune, Allison isn’t angry. You get why they’re so in love – they understand each other. Ashton explained most of it during his way here, but you have to explain things in detail over food.
You were shocked to see Ashton with so many bags, full of burgers, but you finally get the “munchies”. You’re ravenous as you wolf down cheeseburgers in two gulps – you're downing them so fast that you almost choke, but one good bump from Ashton to your back fixed it.
You see her observing the pen with rapt interest as you tell her about your stint with them. “So you’re saying you turned Ash and me into skins with this?”
“I’m tellin’ ya, Ally! He used it on himself and he deflated like a balloon! I even put my leg on his, and it felt like the real thing!”
“Listen,” you tell her. “I’m sorry we had to do this to you guys. Ashton’s a really nice guy, and you, well...”
“Yeah, I know.” She demonstrates her love by nibbling on his lip, then giving him a flurry of kisses. “Ash’s a big softie.” Then, she grins at you. “He’s also a good judge of character. I should’ve known you were behind this, but you didn’t seem like the kind to do it.”
“Well, technically, I didn’t intend to. It was my girlfriend’s idea.”
“Still - it was nice trying to get them together. Stupid way to do it, but your hearts were in the right place. And hey – good call on taking your girl to Lovers’ Hill.”
“It was her idea.”
“Ooh,” she swoons. “Mad respect. She knows what she wants.” She rests her chin on her hand, excited. “Did you like it?”
“You really don’t mind that we used you like costumes? I mean, I know Ashton doesn’t seem to mind--”
“First of all? His friends and I call him ‘Ash’.”
“Uh...” (She can be intimidating.) “Sure.”
“And my friends call me ‘Ally’ - so I expect you to do the same.”
“Speaking of names...” You look at the photos, recalling what Ashton told you. “I kinda know your little brother.”
“You do?” she says, flashing a sad smile. “He’s doing good, isn’t he?”
“Yeah. I wish my little sister paid attention to him, rather than the guy she’s swooning for.”
“Hwuhzzat?” Ashton says with his mouth full.
“Dunno if you know him. Scottie Kilmeade.”
“Yeah,” Allison claims, sighing. “I know the kid. Bit of a troublemaker. Reminds me of this other guy... What was his name? Chubby, freckled, buzz cut--”
“You mean Jimmy?” You’d recognize that description anywhere. “Yeah, I know him. He happens to be my best friend.”
She snorts. “Why do good guys always befriend troublemakers? Not that I’ve got anything against Scottie or your friend, that is.”
“I wouldn’t trust either of them with that pen. That's for sure.”
“Yeah, well, you’re mature.” (That’s an unexpected revelation.) “That’s why I don’t mind. You two screwed up with your plan, needed a way to escape, and got carried on with it. At least you left us with everything – I'd be pissed if you took whatever was on our pockets.”
“Yeah. I’d hate that too. So... no hard feelings?”
“Of course not,” she states. “You’re welcome here anything. Just... make sure you call Ash first. Or me.”
“Thanks.” You swallow the last bite of your fifth cheeseburger, checking your phone. “Should be back home by now. Gotta... y’know, work that story and everything.”
You notice a sparkle gleaming in Allison’s eye. “I promised I’d help you with it. How about this. You can bounce ideas off me – I'm good at making stories. Maybe help you flesh it out, make sense of any funny things. In exchange...” She stands up, stretching her long, slim legs. “You’ll owe me a favor.”
“What kind of favor?”
“Nothing too fancy. You’ll bring your girlfriend here.”
You cock your head. It’s too simple. “Is that it?”
“Of course not!” she says between giggles. “I checked my schedule. I got free next Wednesday. Once you’re out of school, call your parents and tell ‘em you’ll be with some friends. Ash’ll bring you here.”
“What’s the catch?”
She grins, palming the black pen into her bosom. “I’ll keep this. To make sure you come.”
That seemed strange. Why would Allison want the pen?
And then, it dawns on you. She must be looking for a little payback.