Of course, not everyone was impressed by Shepard's exhibitionism of her chubby tummy. That became apparent when she made it to the elevator and found Tali'Zorah already waiting there. Shepard's immediate reaction was to walk away and hide until the next elevator came up, but Tali already heard someone coming and turned around. The commander couldn't help but flush with embarassment as she felt Tali's eyes travel from her face down to her exposed belly.
"Shepard," Tali said coolly.
"Tali," Shepard responded in equally cool tones, trying not to look in her direction as she moved next to her. Shepard's newfound confidence quickly died in the strained silence between the pair of them as they waited for the elevator. Frowning slightly, Shepard deliberately glanced away from the Quarian, casually tapping her foot as she pretended to be interested in the unusual patterns on the wall even as she felt Tali smugly eying her new physique.
In other words, it was probably the warmest, friendliest interaction the two had ever had with one another.
Sure if you asked her, Shepard would have espoused about what a brilliant engineer Tali was who was instrumental to the defeat of Sovereign, and Tali would swear up and down that Shepard had a deserved reputation as the savior of the galaxy, but most of the time, if you put them in the same place things would get really catty fast. The two of them were infamous for getting into petty arguments over small things, and when they weren't fighting they were exchanging insults and comebacks. Things almost got physical a few times when they got into a row about the best way to fix the Normandy's systems (and allegedly, their mutual interest in Liara), and it certainly didn't help when Shepard came back from the dead wearing a Cerberus uniform.
In short, being in a room with the two of them was like waiting for a bomb to go off. Which happened to be exactly what Shepard wished would happen any second now as she stepped into the elevator alongside her catty crewmate. The two sat in silence for what felt like centuries, broken up only by a dry cough or a small sigh from one girl or the other, before-
"Do you always leave that hanging out?"
Shepard bit her lip as she turned towards Tali. "Excuse me?"
"That gut of yours," Tali said, gesturing towards the commander's stomach. "Reminding us to use protection when we get into bed with Cerberus?"
Ouch. Shepard curled her nose. "I'm not pregnant," she said, thinking quickly. "I can see why you'd make that mistake though...you're a bit inexperienced in that field."
"Tch," Tali tried to scoff, but Shepard could tell she was bristling behind that mask. "Least I don't look like a slob."
"Least I don't look like a stick figure," Shepard sniped back.
"Excuse me?" Tali snapped, finally turning to face Shepard.
"You heard me," the commander replied with as much smugness as she could muster. "Sure I'm showing off, but at least I have something to show off, you know?"
Tali was so steamed her helmet seemed to be fogging up. "W-well..."
"Oh don't feel too bad, you're still an asset to the team," Shepard went on. "Especially on stealth missions, just turn sideways and nobody can see you!"
"Well...you keep up with that and we can defeat the enemy by rolling you down a hill and crushing them!" Tali managed to fire back.
"Honey, don't be mad you can't get this," Shepard said, patting her pot belly.
"I've ALWAYS had that," Tali almost shouted, slapping her hip with one hand. "And I can make every pound of sloppy fat you think you carry look good!"
"Get real, bitch," the commander sneered, getting right up in Tali's glass-shielded face. "You'll never look better then me, no matter how many curves you get!"
"In your dreams, prat'ya?" Tali shouted back, not backing down in the slightest. "I could be the size of a Rynakkian sea rhino and my curves would have every man and woman on this ship drooling over me!"
"I'd like to see you try!"
"I'd like to see you try and keep up!"
When the door opened, the two of them were so steaming mad that they blew past a very confused Thane as they headed straight for the cafeteria. The two shared a glance of pure venom as they grabbed trays and headed straight for the food line, determined not to let this challenge go unanswered.
"Now what are they doing?" Garrus sighed as he watched the commander and the Quarian load up on food.
"I don't know," Miranda commented. "But they're going to do some real damage to their waistlines if they make this a regular thing."
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