As you stroll past a trendy clothing store, you notice a group of three teenage girls on a bench near the food court, their voices carrying loudly over the din of the mall. They’re gossiping and laughing, completely oblivious to how obnoxiously loud they’re being. Their voices grate on your nerves, and you decide it’s the perfect opportunity for adjustment.
The first girl, a blonde with a high ponytail and a pink hoodie, is named Brittany. She’s the loudest of the trio, her voice shrill and grating as she talks about some drama at school. The second girl, Sophia, has dark hair and glasses, and she’s nodding along, chiming in with her own opinions. The third girl, Taylor, is twirling her hair as she talks, her tone dripping with sarcasm.
You glance around and spot a toddler boy nearby, holding his mother’s hand. He’s babbling in that adorable, nonsensical way toddlers do. Perfect. You focus on Brittany and, with a thought, copy the toddler’s speaking skills and implant them into her mind. Instantly, her voice changes.
“So, like, I was like, totally like, oh my gosh, and then—” Brittany stops mid-sentence, her eyes widening as her voice shifts into a high-pitched, baby-like tone. “Uh-oh, what happen? Me no talk right! Me go like... um... baba? No, no, no! Me wanna say... um... big words! But me no can! Me go... go... goo-goo ga-ga!”
Sophia and Taylor stare at her, their mouths hanging open. “Brittany, what the heck?” Sophia asks, her voice tinged with confusion.
“Me no know! Me talk funny now! Me no like it!” Brittany whines, her words coming out in a lispy, toddler-like manner. “Why me talk like baby? Me big girl! Me no baby!”
Sophia and Taylor exchange bewildered looks, but before they can say anything, you turn your attention to Sophia. Nearby, you notice a foreign tourist struggling to ask for directions in broken English. You copy her language skills and implant them into Sophia.
Sophia opens her mouth to speak, but instead of her usual fluent English, her words come out halting and awkward. “I... uh... no understand why Brittany talk like... uh... baby. This is... uh... very strange. I think maybe... uh... something wrong with her... uh... brain?”
Taylor’s eyes widen even further. “Sophia, what’s going on? Why are you talking like that?”
Sophia frowns, her brow furrowing as she struggles to form her next sentence. “I... uh... no know. My English... uh... bad now. I no can speak good. This is... uh... very bad.”
Taylor looks around, her face pale. “Okay, this is seriously weird. What’s happening to you guys?”
You smirk and turn your attention to Taylor. On a nearby Gadget store, there’s an advertisement for a new gadget, featuring a robot mascot. You focus on Taylor and, with a thought, make her speak like a robot.
Taylor opens her mouth, and her voice comes out in a strange, overly formal tone. “Processing. Error detected in vocal communication systems of Brittany and Sophia. Analysis complete. Conclusion: vocal patterns have been altered. Requesting clarification on cause of malfunction.”
Brittany and Sophia stare at her, their jaws dropping. “you sound wike a wobot!” Brittany says, her toddler voice squeaking.
Taylor tilts her head slightly, her expression confusion. “Affirmative. My speech patterns have been modified to resemble those of a robotic entity. This is highly irregular. I do not compute the reason for this change.”
Sophia shakes her head, her broken English stumbling out. “This is... uh... crazy. We all talk... uh... funny now. What we do?”
Brittany pouts, her lower lip trembling. “Me no like this! Me wanna talk normal! Me no wanna goo-goo ga-ga!”
Taylor’s robotic speak responds, “Suggestion: seek assistance from a qualified technician to repair vocal systems. Alternatively, accept new speech parameters and adapt accordingly.”
Sophia groans, rubbing her temples. “This is... uh... too much. I no can think straight. My head... uh... hurt.”
The three girls sit in stunned silence, their new ways of speaking making it nearly impossible to communicate effectively. Brittany is babbling like a toddler, Sophia is struggling with broken English, and Taylor is speaking like a robot. They’re all confused, annoyed, and completely unaware of what just happened—or who caused it.
You watch from a distance, your grin widening. This is going to be fun.