"Um... I guess I'll take the first thing you mentioned, the... incantation?" Jade told the old woman, who handed Jade a piece of old parchment with three words written on it in Latin script Temere genitalibus commutationum.
"Is this it?" Jade asked, seeming a little underwhelmed by what she was now holding in her hand.
"It may not look like much, but it will do as I described. Utter those three words when surrounded by people, your family, your friends... or even strangers, and there will be a random exchange of genitals. It's sure to be fun for you my dear. Perhaps you will find out how the other half lives, what they feel." the old woman giggled in a bit of a creepy manner. The old woman deftly swiped the £10 note from Jade's other hand.
"How do I know this will work?" Jade asked in a sceptical tone. "Can I get a refund if it doesn't?"
The old woman let out a sigh, as if slightly offended. "I am not a con artist my girl, everything I sell is tried and tested. That particular incantation is very old. You should have seen the fun a nobleman once had with it in Paris... oh forgive me, I'm rambling now." The old woman stopped herself.
Nobleman? Jade thought. This old biddy is certifiable. "And won't people freak out when this happens to them?" Jade asked out loud, deciding to play along for the time being. "I mean... will the other people be aware of the swaps like me?"
"You will have to find that out yourself my dear." The old woman's smirk was almost 'mischievous'. "Now run along, I'm afraid I need to have my afternoon nap." she told Jade.
"Um... okay, but if this doesn't work, I'm coming back here." Jade said.
With that she stepped out of the quaint little shop and into the cold January air. She gazed down at the piece of parchment in her hand and bit her bottom llip, she had to wonder if the incantation would even work or not. Glancing back at the shop she had just stepped out from, Jade did a double-take. "What the hell..." she gasped, seeing the shop had gone, replaced by an empty building with whitewashed windows. Jade had to wonder if she was tripping.
"Maybe the old bat was telling the truth." Jade mumbled, glancing at the parchment in her hand again. She then glanced at her watch and zipped her coat further up to keep the cold out as much as she could. She set off on a slow walk towards Wilko, her place of work. She started her shift there in an hour and she had to wonder... whether that was the perfect place to test out her new incantation.
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