It was near closing time on a Monday at the Rancor’s Nest. It has been a relatively slow day, and the last customer left over a half hour ago.
Keeley was absentmindedly leading through the newest D&D module at the front counter, and considering locking up early, when Caleb rushed (or walked as quickly as his engorged body would allow) through the door.
“Keeley,” he leaned over to catch his breath. “I’ve got a huge problem.”
The cashier smirked. “Clothes shrunk in the wash again?”
“Yeah, real funny.” Caleb subconsciously tugged down on his one of many that Cat bought for him, and subsequently became far, far, too tight. “You know how I’ve been, uh, occupied lately?”
“Interesting word choice, but yeah I’m aware.”
“I, um, may have kind of forgotten to pay my rent for the past couple of months…”
Keeley set down her book with a thud. “Oh fuck, Caleb, are you serious? Were you seriously that irresponsible?”
“I’ve got until next Monday to find a new place. I’m going to lose my dorm in the middle of the year! I’m so, so fucked, Keeley!”
Keeley composed herself. “Okay, okay, calm down big guy. You’re not quite shit-outta-luck quite yet. Lucky for you, you’ve got some options.”
“Yeah, I was hoping that you could give me some advice.” Caleb sheepishly mentioned.
Keeley silently concentrated for a bit. “Have you brought this up to your girlfriend, would her parents mind you living at their place until you get back on your feet?”
While you can still stand up by yourself, she thought.
“I haven’t told Cat yet, I don’t want her to worry for me unless it’s absolutely necessary.” Caleb let out a big sigh. “I was considering asking, but I’m thinking that living with my girlfriend’s parents might stir up too much trouble in the long-term.”
“What do you mean? Don’t Cat’s parents enjoy having you over?”
“I mean, yeah. Her Mom and Aunt *love* having me over, maybe a little too much.” With excellent timing, Caleb let out a thick burp resulting from the dinner he just came back from. “Her dad is a little strict though, and he kind of scares me sometimes.”
“Yeah, sounds about right. Cat’s place sounds like a sweet deal to me, but if that falls through…“ She paused. Okay, listen, my roommate’s lease ends at the end of the month, and-“
“Are you saying I can move in with you?” Caleb asked.
“I’m saying you *might* be able to move in with me. Anyways, she’s moving upstate and there might be a spot for you. HOWEVER, I already have someone lined up, but they’re being a bit noncommittal and might have second thoughts.”
Caleb got on his knees “PLEASE, PLEASE, for the love of god, don’t leave me hanging, Keeley! If you let me move in I can pay rent, *in addition* to all the desserts Cat can make!”
Keeley licked her lips. “I’ll consider your offer, ok? And you better actually remember to pay with me!” Keeley said as Caleb struggled to get off his knees. She had to go around the counter to help her fattened friend up.
“What I’m getting at is that you should not 100% rely on this offer because it’s not a done-deal for you even if you’re begging for it. Besides, have you thought about moving back in with your parents?”
Caleb looked like he just saw a ghost. “Nononononono, no way. I’m am not going to let my parents know about any of this. I’ll be hearing about it for the rest of my life, absolutely not.”
“Alright, fair enough.”
Keeley thought some more. “You know, I think I have a friend-of-a-friend who’s actually looking for a roommate right now.”
“Wait, seriously? Are they on the level?”
“If my memory serves correctly they’re a bit older than us, and also a little bit of an oddball, but they’re not an ax-murderer or anything like that.” She paused for a moment. “…at least I don’t think they are. I only met them once but I think you’ll get along.”
Caleb breathed deeply. “Got it, thanks Keeley, I really appreciate it.”
“Don’t mention it, dough boy.” Keeley playfully prodded a finger into Caleb’s soft middle.
“Don’t quit your day job, comedian. Also, wanna help me move out? If you do, Cat baked me a pile of cakes the other day I that I can bribe you with.”
“I’m hella game.”
***
Eventually, the only option available to Caleb came out to be:
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