"Human mating rituals. Amusing, quite amusing, yes yes." The tablet shook in the triple-jointed finger. A gentle hum reverberated through the sterile, white room as a bottle floated up to the bulb-headed alien's mouth.
Today was a special day of a very different sort, one that eclipsed something so insignificant as one human's wedding. Today marked the third year of earth occupation by the Zost Empire.
Of course, if one were to inform any human of this momentous occasion, such a person would be branded as a 'nut.' That is because earthlings are dumb.
"Dual-sexed creatures, interesting. Quite stimulating." On this special day, a zost scientist entertained itself with an earthling show. The performing arts were honored in the Zost Empire and the creature on screen (which the zost's superior mind identified as 'Ellie') made a show of ever so slowly sliding her crotch shield down.
The alien's enthusiasm dimmed when the shield fully deactivated.
"Disappointing. There is nothing there." The alien's spidery fingers scrabbled across the screen. With a hissing sound like a balloon being filled, 'Ellie's' panties burst open, a set of masculine genitalia snaking its way out.
"Better. Much improved." A loud 'thump' echoed through the lab. The alien lazily tilted its bulbous head. Disgraceful. Most disgraceful. This was the handiwork of that brat, Zoris. Its spawn, Zoris, had clearly opened the bay doors and was now outside.
An anniversary and it was trapped in the lab, babysitting its spawn. It was an unjust situation. The council should know of this and condemn that which foist such a burden upon it.
For a long moment, the alien fastened its eyes on the back of the lab before, with a hissing sound, it returned to its 'research.' Zoris did not require supervision, especially when frolicking among earthlings that are stupid.
Had the alien investigated further, it may have noticed its spare tablet was missing...
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