It was a relatively peaceful day in the city when the ground began to shake, the pedestrians shivering in spite of the balmy summer day outside. Then without warning, a gash opened from sidewalk to sidewalk across the road, tires and brakes screaming as out of the gap rose a black and blue torii gate, the air underneath its swooping archway thick with mist and fog. The deep boom of a brass gong was heard and soon dozens of figures charged out of the gate; strange, hunched men wrapped head to toe in black, save for the kanji symbols embossed across their chests and their wide-brimmed conical hats, shading their glowing blue eyes. Wielding long feathered spears in their clawed hands, the first ones out the gate charged at the terrified civilians, sending them away screaming as the others fell into formation, jerkily marching along as four more emerged carrying a box suspended between wooden poles.
"HAHAHA! How I love to see the pathetic humans turning tail!"
Exiting the portal after the formation was a hulking, monstrous figure, clad in ornate crystalline samurai armor, its face mask frozen in a hideous snarl as he hoisted a club as tall as he was on one shoulder.
"Now, make ready to unleash the Yokai Engine!" the monster demanded, dramatically clenching his fist. "When it is powered on, it will burrow into the Earth and unleash more of our allies from their slumber!"
"Great Oni Lord!" one of the minions meekly replied. "There is no need for you to tell us the plan, we already know of our mission!"
"SILENCE!" The Oni Lord brought his fist down on the minion's head, his hat compacting down to his shoulders leaving him flailing about until he flopped over on his back. He turned back towards the sky, glaring angrily at the sun. "Foolish Ameratsu! Soon you will have failed, your precious world shall be covered in ice once more, and the Defro Shogunate will reign supreme over all! MWHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Not if I have anything to say about it!"
The minions all turned and flailed dramatically, backing away from the girl calmly buying a hot dog from a terrified street vendor, who turned tail and ran as soon as he had his five bucks. No one was left to witness her stepping onto the street as she wolfed down her impromptu meal, and if they did then they'd surely think she was mad. Surely, a girl as fat as this one, her huge gut rolling right out over her waistline, jeans stretching to contain hips and a a backside that most chairs would struggle with, was in no shape to face these creatures. Clearly there was no muscle on those blubbery bingo wings that she called arms, and those chunky thighs were suited for running to the nearest buffet!
But even these simple-minded minions knew better then to make that sort of judgement twice as the backed away from her. The Oni Lord, seeing his minions cowering, was merely driven into more of a rage as he knocked aside another minion.
"Cowards! She is but one foolish human!" he bellowed.
Hanako Zeri winced, but quickly recovered her composure, brushing her dark hair from her eyes to reveal her plump cheeks and extra chin. "One foolish human that you ice cubes haven't beaten yet!" she taunted, rolling up her sleeve in preparation.
"GRAAAGH!" The Oni Lord smashed his club on the ground in a rage. "DESTROY HER!"
"Te wo tsuite!" Hanako swung her arm up, revealing the device strapped to her wrist and pressed two fingers to the symbol in the middle, which started to spin and glow pink. "Go Sentai Sumoranger!"
The symbol spun outward with a burst of energy, imprinting as a ring on the ground surrounding her as a slow spread upwards across her body up to her neck. With a defiant shout, she swung her hand down, throwing a fistful of glittering pink salt, then leaping through and landing with a shudder, now in a pink and white skintight uniform, complete with a broad belt with flaps and tassels to resemble an elaborate mawashi, sturdy boots and gloves, and a symmetrical kanji symbol across her belly. As she glanced up, the salt coalesced around her head and in a flash she appeared with a black-visored helm in matching pink.
“SumoRanger, Pink!”
SumoPink lifted up one leg and brought it down with a stomp, a pink explosion erupting from the ground behind her as she struck a pose.
“Graaah, where did that come from!?” the Oni Lord snarled. “What are you simpletons waiting for? ATTACK!”
The minions barely broke into their charge and lowered their spears before SumoPink launched herself forward with a defiant “Hyaaa!”, barrelling through them like so many bowling pins. Landing right in their center, she swung around with amazing speed for someone her size, knocking out minions with blows from her fist, hips, and her belly, spears snapping on her adipose like it was made of metal.
“Ha! Seems you’ll have to do better then-”
WHUMPF
Sparks flew as the Oni Lord’s club struck her, sending her flying back and slamming into an abandoned car that crumpled beneath her. Leaping up and trying to catch her breath, she threw her arms out at the last moment to catch the club’s backswing, struggling against the Oni Lord’s strength.
“Foolish, pathetic human, all by your lonesome!” he taunted her, his cold breath misting the air and fogging up her visor. “Who will defend these pathetic meat sacks when you are gone!?”
Letting out a snarl of anger, she pushed him away and braced herself, breathing heavily as she lowered her stance.
“You’re not gonna find out any time soon!” she declared. “Oshi-zumō Ultimate Strike!”
Light glinting off her helmet, SumoPink blasted forward, striking the Oni Lord with a flurry of furious blows before drawing back one last time.
“Shirooooooooo-”
With a tremendous explosion, SumoPink thrust foward with a massive bodyslam, her huge gut sending the Oni Lord flying.
“-BOSHI!”
“Nooooooooo!” The Oni Lord flew through the air, sparking and flashing until he hit the dreaded Yokai Engine, both him and the infernal device blowing up in a massive fireball. Posing in triumph, SumoPink turned quickly to face the remaining minions, watching them flinch and cowardly flee back into the gate as it vanished underground again.
Ducking into the nearby alley, SumoPink deactivated her morph and became Hanako again in a flash of light, who immediately leaned against a wall to try and catch her breath.
“Third one….today….” she wheezed, rolling down her sleeve again. “The Shogun’s…really upping the ante…”
“Indeed, those scoundrels have certainly been busy on their little schemes!” came the chipper voice from her morpher. She lifted it up as a tiny hologram of an owl man flickered to life over its circular button. “But I’m sure we’ll give them a run for their money once you take my new equipment for a spin!”
“Rikishi, you’re a great help, really…” Hanako said. “But all the weapons in the world aren’t gonna help if I’m too exhausted to use them.”
The owl’s tufted ear’s flicked happily. “Well, then you might be happy to see what I’ve cooked up! Hold both hands out for me, please?”
Curious, Hanako did so, quickly adjusting her fingers as four shimmering rectangular devices appeared in her hands. As they took a more recognizable shape, eager excitement welled up inside of her.
“You got the morphers working!?”
“Indeed I have! Ameratsu probably won’t be happy with me fiddling with them, but considering she didn’t have time to designate the other members of the team before she was put into hibernation by the Shogun, I don’t think she’ll mind!”
“Then it falls to us to find suitable SumoRangers, then,” Hanako said, reaching down to adjust her tight waistband. “And to make sure they are…prepared for the task at hand.” She added, with a hint of pink tinge on her pale, chubby cheeks.
Rikishi chuckled. “Such a strange theme to build a team around! But I suppose Ameratsu chose you to make that team for a reason! So, where shall we look for our SumoRangers?”
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