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Given: Sep 2, 2014 at 12:54pm
Length: 1,402 Characters |
1,195 w/o WritingML
Welcome to WDC Dan! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you!
I love haiku and so it is my pleasure to discover your fine creations. The title is evocative and appeals to me.
The imagery in your verses is vivid as you show three differing elemental winds. I could hear the geese and it is so cool how you don't say in the the cry is from geese--so we can imagine any flying creatures on the autumn wind. I loved the idea of the last line in verse three--"cup the dusk" .Brilliant.
I would sumise that theseare modern form haiku as they do not follow the traditonal formats yet the nature theme, evocative twists and allowing for readers to enter from differeing perspectives is quite evident.! Good show!
I notice the secodn verse has 4 lines which is off balance for the 3 line verse from chain. I felt this one was the weakest of the the three as it seems to be a sentence without a clear turning point.
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