Hi QPdoll ! I'm stopping by your portfolio today for a quick read and review of your item, "Jelly" about your adorable Beagle fur baby! I hope you are enjoying the birthday celebrations!

What a lovely little tale (tail?) about your dog! Very cute picture in the cover image as well. It was clear how much you care about animals in general, but especially about Jelly. I love that dogs truly become part of our families and are a part of so many of the stories we tell friends and the memories we have. I have a small shih tzu, and I'm always worried she'll be scooped up by a hawk while in the back yard! I've gone so far as to put up fluttering ribbons on the roof to scare away flying predators. I did wonder if you might want to add a bit more about your first impressions of Jelly when you visited her in the foster home? I felt that scene could have been strengthened with a little more description of what you liked about her and how you felt about the possibility of adopting her. By the way, Jelly is such an adorable name! I'm glad you kept it!

I did find just a few places where your sentences could use a comma. I've pasted your words below in red and added a where I think the commas should go

When I called about her I was told that she wasn't available

One week later we drove back to Missouri

As she gets used to that I'll try and take her out twice.

This one particular late afternoon he was walking back to the camper

I think your essay might benefit from a few other genres as well. More genres can help people searching the site for something to read find your item easier. Some genres you might consider adding are: Pets, Personal, or Emotional.

My favorite line in your piece was "Then I found out that my husband was feeding her table food." I think we all know someone who does that! Haha! Poor pups, smothered by love and treats!

Thank you for sharing your writing! Take care,
Emily

You responded to this review 09/05/2018 @ 6:54am EDT

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