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Review #4470607
Viewing a review of:
 Lono Open in new Window. [E]
A dismal soul’s gift to life.
by KyleLiddel Author Icon
Review of Lono  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*Balloonp*Welcome to WDC Kyle! Your wonderful creation popped up on the Read and Review page so here I am to celebrate you with a review! *Delight*

I am glad you put Death as one of your category genres as this is indeed a dark piece. The depressive mood is potent and your tag line is evocative. I get the idea his death is the gift to life. Wow! Sad!

I was drawn into the imagery of the first line. The word "meddling" is interesting and "blue vibrations" I took to be low negative energy. Along with "stone Heart" You set the mood and mental state of the poet. I like how you then address the audience as if telling them what to see. Brilliant. *Smile*

The structure is effective with 4 line verses and a consistent rhyme scheme that helps the flow. Your use of assonance and sounds within words really makes it pleasing to read and adds to the over all poetic feel of the poem.

The use of personification is cool too, as worry "scratches" and "paints". I also liked the vivid "agony to thorns" image.

*starstuck*The poem really captures the helplessness of this lost soul without hope in a vivid way. I like the last line, which leaves a door way to light. Interesting and evocative piece. Thanks for sharing your craft.

eyestar
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