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Printed from https://web1.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4520120
Review #4520120
Viewing a review of:
Wheel of Fortune Open in new Window. [18+]
My blog--I pull a card--if it doesn't speak to me...perhaps it is for you?
by ridinghhood-p.boutilier Author Icon
         Review for entry/chapter: "December 16, 2019" Open in new Window.
Review of Wheel of Fortune  Open in new Window.
Review by Choco's Fee... Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi ridinghhood-p.boutilier Author Icon,

I am reviewing this on behalf of "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.. This is also part of "I Write in 2019" Open in new Window..

Please remember these views are purely my own and any advice is given with the sole intention of being helpful.

First Impressions: I love the image this poem leaves me with. It is one of light and possibility. It feels warm and positive. I love the idea of the multiverse that holds everything and everyone ever made.

Mechanics: This poem is free verse, which works well for a poem with so few syllables. One thing I did notice: it actually has twenty-five syllables. I've counted it a few times, to make sure. But, there is definitely one too many for the contest. However, it doesn't affect the poem. It works really well like this.

Rhythm: The internal rhymes you use in this poem make it read smoothly and give it a great pace. The rhymes of mind with light and coalesce with multiverse are a great way to make the poem pop off the page.

My Favourite Part: "I would burst into starlight." This image is so vivid. The use of the word burst when describing light is perfect.


This is a great, little poem. I enjoyed reading it, and it has left me feeling a little lighter. Nice work.

Keep writing!

Choconut

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Printed from https://web1.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4520120