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 Review #4699255 |
 | Invalid Item  [] |
| (4.0)| Hey (suser:eager2write}, I am this month's judge for "Invalid Item" , and am here with a review of your entry.This is well written, the words you use, the ideas you convey. You do have an introduction, three key points, and a conclusion. Being well written, you might think it should receive 5 stars, right? Yes, and No. Here's why, and why I didn't give it a 5 star rating. I don't mean to be harsh and critical in my comments here, but it's what I see and read. You write in circles in explaining your intimacy with God. What I mean is, in the introduction you tell us about your intimacy with God, and that it isn't as strong as it could be. Your conclusion does the exact same thing when you read it. Without going into too much depth, here's my reasoning. 1. In the introduction one of your lines states, "I know I do not do enough or put forth as much effort as I should to strengthen my relationship with Him." And in your conclusion, you say the same thing in different words. "Sometimes I just do not want to do the work." Only you control how strong your relationship is with God, only you can strengthen it. Until you acknowledge that and put forth the effort, it will remain something you 'want to do, but won't put in the effort to do so' In essence you're giving God lip service for your faith, without putting in the work. 2. In the first key point, you tell us of your lack of reading the bible. There it sits, within reach, but collecting dust, yet you don't open one. Why? You admit that you do read it on your phone or computer. Why only there? Look deep in your soul, your mind for the reason. You're doing better than me, any bibles I've had (and I have purchased 5 or more at estate sales), only to give them away. I gave 🌻 pwheeler ~ love joy peace  a bible that is over 150 years old, with notes written it, including a note on a blank page in front about it being a gift to a young girl. So yeah, you're doing better than me. My thoughts on why you use the phone or computer. This is only a thought based on my knowledge of people (No, I have no special talent, I just observe, this is something I've seen). You read on the these electronic devices because if you become bored or distracted, it's easy to move to something you find more appealing. Look deep in your soul, see if that's not there.3. In the second key point you talk about praying. First, who says you need to get on your knees to pray? Catholics? I was raised Baptist, we didn't get on our knees to pray. Praying to God is a personal thing. Do you think he wants you in pain while you converse with him? I don't. What kind of God would he be if he wanted that? Secondly, the subjects you pray about are all centered around your life, or things you've seen occurring. There's nothing wrong with that at all. However, in my opinion, it's all self-centered. It's all about you, making your life, the people you love dearly, for being alive. It's all about you. Again, there's nothing wrong with that. But, how about adding to it? Think of everything else you could pray for God's help with. Tough subjects that need help. Things you might add? God's guidance to our leaders, whether we like them or not (President Biden for example), the masses (help them learn to feel God's closeness), those who harbor ill-will to others (Countries, not necessarily individuals, both actually), and so much more. It doesn't have to be a lot in your prayer, but mention it. 4. In the third key point you seem to try to define faith, describe when you recall your faith faltering. You also tell that your husband does not understand the level of your faith. It's no wonder he doesn't. In my eyes, you seem to vacillate between being very faithful (when it's convenient for you), and being somewhat faithful. He doesn't understand it because it's not consistent. But what in reality is faith? A belief? Talking with God? Reading the Bible? Praying? I don't know, but I saw this on line, I think it describes faith well. A group of people are standing (or sitting) outside praying for rain during a particularly dry, parched summer. Everyone had brought an item of faith, bibles, crosses, etc. At the end of the prayer, it started to rain. Everyone raised their item of faith, but one item seemed to overshadow the rest. One person raised an umbrella. That's faith. 5. I've already mentioned your conclusion and how it seems to almost mirror your introduction. Here's my thoughts your whole essay. Introduction: This should explain to us about your intimacy with God. It does, a bit. Your key points should provide examples and/or tie to this intimacy. Yet in each one, instead of building and explaining your intimacy with God, you proceed to tell is how you fail. You don't build on that, you tear it down! Your conclusion doesn't tie the introduction and key points together, it tells us how you're ashamed for not being closer, and don't want to put in the work to make it stronger. Hmmmmmmm... hence, my grade. I'd love to give it a higher one, and will, should you edit this and ask me to review it again. Thank you for writing this, I feel it helped me get to know you better, even if only from a distance. Sum1  WDC POWER RAIDER   My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 06/02/2023 @ 5:33am EDT