\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED ITEMS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://web1.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4734975
Review #4734975
Viewing a review of:
The Jewel Thief Open in new Window. [13+]
Writer's Cramp, January 16 2024 (Winner) & Newbie Poetry Contest, February 2024 (Winner)
by Dave Ryan Author Icon
Review of The Jewel Thief  Open in new Window.
Review by Choconut Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi Dave Ryan Author Icon

Thank you for entering your poem into "Fox's Socks Newbie Poetry Contest" Open in new Window.. I am Choconut, one of the contest judges for the February round.

I am reviewing your poem, "The Jewel Thief" Open in new Window., in affiliation with "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window..

Please remember these views are purely my own and any advice given is with the sole intention of being helpful.

First Impressions: The moment I began reading your poem, I loved it. De-lousing your camel made me sit up and pay attention right away. As I continued to read, I believe I had a smile on my face and a laugh in my throat, and this stayed with me for the entire poem.

Voice/Tone: The narrator is witty and tells us the story of his younger brother, Earl, a hunted jewel thief.The lines where you comment on the events in the story are brilliant. I would never have thought of doing that, but it works really well.

Mechanics: I'm not sure if this is a specific poetry form. I don't think it is. But it has a great rhyme scheme. You have been super creative with your end-of-line rhymes, and this makes the poem so smooth. It flows like liquid chocolate. You have the stresses in all the right places, and I genuinely didn't find a bumpy part. As I read, I kept thinking, I wish I could write like this.

My Favourite Part: The story itself. It really is a poem that tells a story. It keeps the reader hooked so brilliantly. But your humour is the shining star of this poem. It's so funny. It's sharp, clever, slick. Oh, the last line: "A-fol-de-diddle-diddle-dum, a-fol-de-diddle-day." That's clever. And hilarious.

Suggestions: The only thing I can think of to offer is it would have been nice to know if you have used a set poetic form. Purely, because it interests me.

Thank you for sharing your poetry with us. What an amusing yarn!

Keep writing!

Choconut

New sig. for WDC Power Reviewers.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 03/03/2024 @ 8:00am EST
Printed from https://web1.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4734975