%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4746346 |
 | ghost; defined  [E] Living alone, where no one knows you and you don't know anyone.  |
| (5.0)| Hi Fivesixer  This review was written on behalf of House Targaryen as part of "Game of Thrones" ! Disclaimer The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. What I liked ..Every. Single. Thing.  I hope you know (because I'm sure I've told you before) how much I love your poetry. It is the kind of poetry that reaches right inside and gives your heart a tweak. And I love poetry that does that. So this poem really appealed to me. Your writing is so rhythmic and lyrical. It's kind of like a song, with the internal rhymes that are divine and the indents on certain lines, informing us how to read the lines. I only cottoned on to this playing with the whole form in the last couple of years, but when I see it in other people's poetry, it makes me happy. Even though this poem is actually really sad. When I read your poem, it feels like it is written to be spoken aloud. It has a natural rhythm that really works. Which brings me on to the content. What a keen observation of society and how singletons are viewed and treated by those in couples. When I split from my ex, and before I married my hubby, my family all whispered to one another that I must be gay and closeted. Simply because I was in my thirties and single. Except for when they didn't notice me at all. Which was a lot of the time. But, that's my mini-rant over. I think the most poignant line, for me, is "Living in a shape." Wow. That feeling that you are nothing, you're insignificant. Even worse, you're invisible. Only the shell which carries you around. That line evoked a strong reaction in me. That's my favourite line. Another great line is: "You're a light / disbelieved." Also, when you when you write that you're living in a shell of self, " ...a blanket / of clouds shroud you out" is fab. I love the rhyme of "clouds" and "shroud." Suggestions: I don't have any, I'm afraid. I honestly think this is perfect as is. My only suggestion would be to get this published, but you've done that already! Parting comments: I don't normally gush like this at unsuspecting individuals, but after reading your poem, I had no choice. I am very happy to have reviewed you today. Choconut   My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
|
|||
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
You responded to this review 04/19/2024 @ 11:09am EDT