%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4758950 |
 | Merry's 14th Birthday Party  [E] My pet dachshund gets spoilt rotten on his birthday  |
| (4.5)| An Angel Army Review Hi HollyMerry . I'm JACE , and I have the honor of reading and reviewing your offering "Merry's 14th Birthday Party" . I invite your attention to the comments below. Please bear in mind these notes are from one on the outside looking in; ultimately only you can decide what's right for your story.  Overall Impression. I found your story in the Read & Review feature under the Navigation menu. When I saw who the subject was, I couldn't pass up the opportunity to review him.When my wife and I returned to the states after a tour in Germany quite some years back, we decided to get a dog. Both of us fell in love with a beautiful reddish, long-haired dachshund. Merry, I'm sad to say out-lived her. But we had some wonderful times, and Abby too enjoyed walks with us, though we stayed under two miles. I enjoyed reading your story from Merry's point of view. Fourteen years is a long life for a dog. You wrote this almost four years ago. I hope Merry has overcome the longevity drawback and still thrives--Muffin too. Good descriptive writing. I was sorry Merry's party was re-located due to weather. But such is life. He handled it well. It always amazes me how important pets are to our own well-being. And they are much more loyal than people can be.  Technical and Editorial Considerations. In this section I normally list those areas that relate specifically to the mechanics of your writing--punctuation, grammar, spelling, etc. Of minor consequence but thought I'd mention it here. The comma should really be a semi-colon. Muffin is so delicate when she lifts the flaps to find the hidden treats, I prefer to boldly shove the flaps aside. The following line seemed an odd turn of the phrase to read. Perhaps it's just my Americanized view of it. Muffin was straight in my new bed before I had chance.  My Rating. 4.5.  Thank you for sharing this offering. Please accept these comments as offered in friendship and support. They are but my humble opinion.Reviewed by JACE   My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 06/29/2024 @ 2:44pm EDT