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Review #4759497
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Review by JACE Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: | (4.5)
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An Angel Army Review


Hi hcavalier123.

I'm JACE Author Icon, and I have the honor of reading and reviewing your offering "Invalid Item" Open in new Window..

I invite your attention to the comments below. Please bear in mind these notes are from one on the outside looking in; ultimately only you can decide what's right for your story.

*Note1* Overall Impression. First, welcome to Writing.Com. And congrats on taking time to fill out your BioBlock and Biography tab. That helps like-minded members find you. Many new folks don't take time to do that. But it's so easy to change or add information as it occurs to you.

A little tip. WDC started as a reading site. But as more writers joined their main focus shifted. The big difference now is that WDC has MANY more stories to read on those nights you can't sleep. Best of luck in all your writing endeavors.

I loved your title. And your Brief Description is spot on. Words are so important. Whether by your design or my remembrance of old commercials, your title remined me of that Lucky Charms commercial-"Magically Delicious".

I have to ask though, what are your trying to say with using :( and :) before and after your first Lyrically Delicious? Yes, I'm older and don't use the symbols as emoticons (if that is your case). But you only use " marks at the end.

All in all, I really enjoyed reading your offering. It was well crafted and easy to read. I liked the way you set your 'readers' apart. After all, what good is it to write if no one reads.

*Exclaim* Technical and Editorial Considerations. In this section I normally list those areas that relate specifically to the mechanics of your writing--punctuation, grammar, spelling, etc.

         *Bullet* I realize punctuation is a very personal thing to poets, and normally I don't comment on its use in a poem. But I really think deleting the comma in the following line will make your statement stronger.  ... or a humorist array,
effectively displayed in a realm of dismay.  

*Star* My Rating.  4.5. 

*Heart* Thank you for sharing this offering. Please accept these comments as offered in friendship and support. They are but my humble opinion.


Reviewed by
JACE

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 06/29/2024 @ 10:39am EDT
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