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 Review #4760122 |
  HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"    Greetings, Tobber! I am reviewing this because today is your 10th year here at Writing.com! I also peeked in your portfolio and noticed you are Scandanavian! My grandmother was born in Sweden, but came to the US with her parents in 1915 to homestead in upper Michigan. Long story, but anyway, I was an exchange student in Sweden for a summer and loved it!  First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest. The Positives/What I Liked I loved the entire concept of this piece! Why one should not get a pet dragon is hilarious. I can visualize a children's picture book on this topic! As a former library director who ordered all the books in the children's section, I would almost guarantee this topic would be a popular book!  For one thing, children love dragons. For another thing, imagine all the awesome illustrations a story like this would have to offer with visuals such as fireproofing the house! No gas stoves, no more knickknacks, and all the other hoops you have to jump through if one has a dragon for a pet, should definitely be considered before taking this life-altering step!  Suggestions/Comments to ConsiderThere are a few typos here and there, but nothing too serious. It's understandable with English being a second language, and I think you've done fabulous! I'll just mention a few here... Paragraph 2: your last real chance of relationship.  your last real chance of a relationship. Paragraph 2: Out goes all the knickknack. Out goes all the knickknacks. Paragraph 5: people who looks at you funny people who look at you funny  While this is more for adults than children, you might want to consider changing it a little to fit into the children's genre, just for fun. Like I mentioned above, I believe children would adore a book with this topic of why not to get a dragon for a pet. I can already hear them giggling over it as they turn each page that promises yet another reason why a dragon is not a good house pet. It's something you could play around with, anyway, if just for fun.  And let me know, if you do! I'd love to read it. Final ThoughtsWell, you've definitely talked me out of getting a dragon for a pet! Good job! Have a great day and... K e e p on W r i t i n g ! Cubby ")
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You responded to this review 07/08/2024 @ 2:14am EDT