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Review #4764544
Viewing a review of:
 Gorilla Dollars Open in new Window. [E]
Count your pennies!
by QueenNormaJean Mayflowers Author Icon
Review of Gorilla Dollars  Open in new Window.
Review by StephBee Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

A girl wants something from a gorilla.

*Smile*WHAT I LIKED

I couldn't help but smile as the girl bartered with the gorilla. I thought it was a very comedic scene.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the 3rd person limited from the little girl's perspective. Past tense is used in the story.

*Star*DIALOGUE

The dialogue accents the narration. Dialogue tags are used appropriately.

*Star*OPENING PARAGRAPH

The opening paragraph put me right in the moment as the girl and gorilla have a stare off.


*Star*CHARACTERS

The girl is all girl with her pink sparkly unicorn purse. The gorilla is pretty clever. The author does a great job capturing these elements of personality with such a tight word count.


*Star*FLOW & PACING

This is a small vinyette that flows well and keeps the reader in the moment.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not notice and spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML to increase the font and make it easier on the eyes.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

The title is quirky and fun and fits the story well. There are some nice, light-hearted comedic beats. The story will make you smile.

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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 07/21/2024 @ 11:47am EDT
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