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 Review #4772401 |
 | Sing a Song of Sixpence  [E] Don't bake blackbirds in the king's pie.  |
| (4.5)| Good morning, ShmrGray! And welcome to the WDC community. I hope you are finding your way around and also enjoying your time here.  My reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest. First Impression This was an enjoyable read and so entertaining.  You've created a story out of a well-known nursery rhyme and did a great job with it! I suspect you had fun with it, too. Your dialogue flows nicely and is well done. Your linespacing makes for easier reading and reviewing. And your punctuation is great. Thoughts/Suggestions I have just a few suggestions for you to consider:  the King screamed --> the king screamed King is not a proper noun in this instance, so needs not begin with a capital letter. There are repeats of this throughout. The Queen --> The queen Queen is not a proper noun in this instance, so needs not begin with a capital letter. There are repeats of this throughout.Favorites At last, her dull and tiresome days had given way to some amusement. “That sixpence was well spent,” she murmured. I loved this! It made my day. Nice work! And again, welcome to Writing.com.  A Review from: "Invalid Item" Have a great day and...  K e e p on W r i t i n g ! Cubby ")
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