%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4808866 |
 | Creepy college  [13+] A story about a creepy college and a boy named Jake.  |
| (3.0)| Hello, cornisbetter ! Welcome to Writing.Com! It's good to see you posting your work.  I've read your story and here are a few brief thoughts on it. The story has a good start by introducing the main character right at the beginning. This is a great way for the reader to get to know them, and the first paragraph also set the scene nicely! The paragraph after the introduction is a little long and moves quickly. I think you're probably working on it, so try to expanded certain events out to slow it down. There's a lot of grammar issues, like capitalizing people's names and spelling mistakes, so you might want to read it out loud to catch those. There's also a lot of characters for this short of a word count, so it was hard to get to know them all. By adding more details about them would help the story flow better. Good work on choosing the three genres. They fit the story well. I hope you expanded on the story. You left it off at a good place to raise the suspense on what happened to Georgia, so that was a good way to end it.  Enjoy the site, and keep writing! ~Lornda "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" E: Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!   My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
|
|||
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
You have not yet responded to this review.