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 Review #4812919 |
7-13: Post Halloween Anonymous  [13+] Even monsters get fed up with consumerism.  |
| (4.5)  HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"   First Impressions: I wrote a story along the same lines, only for a different prompt in the “13” challenge! Great minds think alike  It was a fun idea, a support group for monsters (a werewolf, a witch and a vampire, among others) who struggled with Halloween, for various reasons. The humour came from seeing them in an unfamiliar setting, and the awkward introductions worked well to give them all their own unique voices. The witch was especially funny, and her complaining that her family was so so un-woke made me chuckle.  Suggestions: I remember the challenge well, and I found it quite hard to come up with and write a new story every day. I think that might be the reason that a few small errors slipped through here, but they’re all easy to fix: He counted chairs surely twenty should be enough I think there should be a period after “chairs”, and his thoughts that followed should be a new sentence. He placed a sandwich outside the hotel ballroom Was that meant to say “sandwich board”? Seriously, thats so un-woke I'm afraid thats impossible Sorry, thats not an option You missed the apostrophe in “that’s”. Wait is this not a Halloween party? I believe there should be a comma after “Wait”. Canis got up slammed the door Again, just a missing comma after “up”.  Final Thoughts: The mortal human who accidentally wandered into the meeting at the end was a nice twist. Just as they were getting into the swing of the meeting, they noticed him, and his attempt at quietly excusing himself didn’t work out. At least they let him choose which one of them got to recruit him, which made it both more sinister and wholesome at the same time. A clever story with more heart than I had expected and a few genuinely funny moments. I enjoyed the read!   A Review from: "Invalid Item" This review is affiliated with The B.E.A.R. Fund , a community project that let's you earn exclusive merit badges just by reviewing! My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 04/25/2025 @ 10:49pm EDT