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Review #4813790
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"Not an artist, but a killer" Open in new Window. [18+]
It's a short story for: Journey through Genre: Official contest.
by Robrayl Author Icon
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#4813790
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
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Greetings, and welcome to writing.com!

I found this via the Random Read and Review button, which I haven't used much lately. I was hesitant to review it at first because I also entered this contest, but whatever. I'll do my best!

I must first inform you, as an entry to Journey Through Genres, you absolutely must choose the genre offered: Detective. It doesn't have to be the primary, but it must be one of the three listed genres, or you're out of luck. I know it's last minute here, but there's still time. Mind the time zones, too: WdC is Eastern US.

With that out of the way... I must say you've picked an original theme for your tale. I like the unconventional Asian detective lady, and the way it pans out is fascinating. But something about it feels... Distant. Like a summarization. I understand you have the word count to work against, and vivid details can't always be included, but I have this odd feeling of the narrative style being cold, dead and unsympathetic, somehow. I couldn't even tell you exactly what's "wrong" about it. So don't mind me; I haven't read a detective story in years.

Why is your dialogue italicized? That's not required in American styling. I know Europeans often leave off quotation marks and use dashes instead, but I've never seen italics.

Also, as a lady, I know enough about blood to know it dries to dark, dull brown, almost black sometimes. Only fresh blood is red. Using human blood as paint would end up looking grossly muddy unless some sort of preservatives were used, and even then it would simply look like red Halloween paint. A creative idea, but it doesn't quite fit with reality.

Best of luck at the contest! This is a great story which captures a lot of the cliches of detective stories while still being innovative and modern.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 05/02/2025 @ 9:33am EDT
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