%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4823769 |
 | The TV in my room  [E] an essay about a recurring old tv show  |
| (4.5)| A WdC SuperPowers Review Hi Quietwriter . I'm JACE , and I have the honor of reading and reviewing your offering "The TV in my room" . I found your offering on the site's Read & Review feature.I invite your attention to the comments below. Please bear in mind these notes are from one on the outside looking in; ultimately only you can decide what's right for your story.  Overall Impression. I must say yours is an interesting premise. What TV show indeed. We watched such little TV when I was growing up. I do remember a show parents and children watched every week--Marlin Perkin's Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom. Whenever possible I enjoyed watching the science show NOVA. Reading your essay did indeed bring back some memories. I had to smile about you waking up to the very same episode that you had watched already. It seemed to me whenever I traveled and watched a show on the hotel room TV, it would be an episode I had seen, even with a show I didn't watch often. May I suggest that you read your story out loud the next time you decide to edit it? I found a few sentences a bit long, either missing commas that should exist, or commas where semi-colons should be to facilitate an appropriate pause when reading. I believe reading out loud ensures you hear a problem before you see it when reading silently. See below for an example. I honestly feel parents took greater interest in what the family and children watched back them. And we were better for that interest.  Technical and Editorial Considerations. In this section I normally list those areas that relate specifically to the mechanics of your writing--punctuation, grammar, spelling, etc. An example where I believe a comma should be a semi-colon. There were so many shows, I used to enjoy that are no longer on, so many shows that I would love to see air day after day. There were so many shows, I used to enjoy that are no longer on; so many shows that I would love to see air day after day. My Rating. 4.5.  Thank you for sharing this offering. Please accept these comments as offered in friendship and support. They are but my humble opinion.Reviewed by JACE   My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
|
|||
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
You responded to this review 07/05/2025 @ 4:17pm EDT