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Review #4825498
Viewing a review of:
 The Start Open in new Window. [13+]
As descriptive as possible without describing certain things at all.
by Nightblue Author Icon
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#4825498
Review of The Start  Open in new Window.
Review by JACE Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
A WdC SuperPowers Review


Hi Nightblue Author Icon.

I'm JACE Author Icon, and I have the honor of reading and reviewing your offering "The Start" Open in new Window., which I found on the site's Read & Review feature.

I invite your attention to the comments below. Please bear in mind these notes are from one on the outside looking in; ultimately only you can decide what's right for your story.

*Note1* Overall Impression. First, welcome to Writing.Com. I hope my meager words offer you both hope and some constructive criticism. Best of luck on your writing journey.

I read your story with the words of both your title and brief description in mind. The latter seemed a bit cryptic, and if they were meant to give me an idea of who your character(s) were, I failed to divine it. At first, I thought you had two or more characters in mind. Then I read the following: "Their heartbeat quickened ...." Heartbeat signifies a singular entity. So I though perhaps this was a mis-print.

Then I found another similar reference, such as: "making their mind stutter for just a second." Obviously, something catastrophic has occurred.

Your descriptions convey the serious nature and pending loss facing your entities. Though your offering is short, you pack a lot to assail your reader's senses. It left me wondering ....

*Exclaim* Technical and Editorial Considerations. In this section I normally list those areas that relate specifically to the mechanics of your writing--punctuation, grammar, spelling, etc.

         *Bullet* Structurally, I question the continuous action of water creating sharp, jagged edges. Generally, water wears a rock down smoothly. Perhaps, introducing something like barnacles on the rocks providing those sharp edges might be better.

*Star* My Rating.  4.0. 

*Heart* Thank you for sharing this offering. Please accept these comments as offered in friendship and support. They are but my humble opinion.


Reviewed by
JACE

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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 07/16/2025 @ 5:35pm EDT
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